That Oregon Life · Stories & discoveries
Earlier stories from the Satire archive. Return to the latest stories →
EUGENE, OR — Local dad Kyle Hendershot will celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow with a heartfelt gesture that begins with waffles and ends with walls shaking. “I just want to show my appreciation,” says Kyle, who reportedly…
Look, I know we’re all supposed to be “maturing” as a city or “de-escalating tactics” or whatever Mayor-Of-The-Month is tweeting now, but I’m starting to feel like Portland’s really lost its spark—literally. I walked downtown yesterday…
PORTLAND, OR — As summer 2025 looms and the city braces for another round of protests, drum circles, and Instagram activism, Portland businesses are staying ahead of the chaos with this year’s hottest trend: custom floral…
VATICAN CITY — In a historic and deeply confusing moment for the Catholic Church, newly appointed Pope Robert I — the first American pope in history — made his debut Wednesday morning atop the balcony of…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between India and Pakistan escalated into open conflict this week, something miraculous happened in the United States: millions of Americans experienced their first peaceful morning without a single scam call about…
SALEM, OR — In a heartfelt press release delivered with the emotional depth of a dropped toaster, Pacific Power announced its latest rate increase this week, citing "deep empathy" for the financial hardship many Oregonians are…
PORTLAND, OR — May 7, 2025 — In response to the ninth human body surfacing in the Willamette River this spring, Portland officials held a casual press conference Monday to assure the public that “everything’s totally…
EUGENE, OR — A frantic search for a local feline came to a mellow conclusion Thursday afternoon after “Mittens,” a 3-year-old tabby, was located at a nearby house party, absolutely blitzed and sprawled across a bean…
BEDMINSTER, NJ — In a bold move to “bring back law, order, and Geoffrey the Giraffe,” former President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will personally oversee the reopening of defunct toy store chain Toys “R”…
CANNON BEACH, OR — In a move that shocked no one familiar with Oregon’s coastal crime wave of airborne kleptomaniacs, Cannon Beach has officially been ranked the most scenic location to witness a seagull violently rob…
BEND, OR — In what experts are calling a “statistical anomaly” and “spiritual awakening,” local resident Tyler Hensley reportedly completed an entire five-minute conversation on Friday without once mentioning that he mountain bikes. The exchange took…
PORTLAND, OR — As the skies clear and temperatures begin to climb, Oregonians are once again flocking to their favorite summer destination: the driver’s seat of a stationary vehicle, parked on a half-paved road, silently observing…
