BEND, Ore. — For longtime Oregonians, the familiar glow of a Shari’s sign once meant warm pies, late-night coffee refills, and a place where countless stories were shared across laminated menus. But that chapter has officially closed —…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Longtime U.S. Senator Ron Wyden (D–NY by lifestyle, OR by paperwork) reportedly had a fleeting thought about visiting the state of Oregon this week, according to sources close to his travel assistant. The moment occurred…
Today marks 45 years since the catastrophic eruption of Mount St. Helens, a day etched into the history of the Pacific Northwest—and the minds of everyone who lived through it. On the morning of May 18, 1980, at…
EUGENE, Ore. – In a moment that reaffirms our faith in good people standing their ground, justice has officially been served in Eugene. Back in October 2024, a quiet night at a local convenience store on Commons Drive…
Let’s stop sugarcoating this. The West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon, Oregon, is not a zoo — it’s a decades-long embarrassment where animals suffer for tourist selfies. During my 2022 trip to Bandon, I refused to spend…
Bend, OR — The long-awaited legacy sequel Final Destination: Bloodlines is now terrifying audiences in theaters nationwide, reigniting a very specific trauma among 90s kids: the paralyzing fear of being pulverized by airborne lumber on the freewa “I…
Boring, Oregon – In a quiet act of denial witnessed by absolutely no one, 52-year-old Brian Cutler stood motionless over his laundry basket Monday afternoon, clutching a pair of severely compromised boxers he’s owned since the Bush administration.…
SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was the 86th…
In a move that perfectly embodies everything you feared after the election but told yourself to “wait and see,” the people you now deeply regret voting for held an emergency meeting today—not to fix potholes, homelessness, or anything…
HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their boyfriends mid-swipe.…
Springfield, OR — Residents were once again left clutching their pearls this week after hearing rumors about yet another offbeat strip club opening in their neighborhood — but this time, it’s not pregnant women causing a stir. It’s…
NEWPORT, OR — Staff at the Goodwill Boutique on Cape & Donation Center are reportedly “deeply puzzled” by the steady stream of financially struggling people who keep showing up under the false assumption that this is a place…
