News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Portland Man Emerges from Wet Cave After 93 Days, Hisses at Sunlight

OREGON COAST — In a scene described by witnesses as “like Gollum but with better accessories,” a Portland man known only as “Dreadmor, Lord of the Drizzle” emerged from a mossy coastal cave on Monday, flinching at the brightness of the midday sun and audibly hissing at a passing jogger. Witnesses...

Privileged Locals Cheer as “No Poors Allowed” Sign Installed at Lake in Lake Oswego

It’s just common sense,” says homeowner who paid $6.2 million to avoid eye contact. LAKE OSWEGO, OR — Wealthy residents of Lake Oswego, Oregon erupted in reserved, polite applause this week as a bold new sign was installed at the city's beloved private(ish) body of water, reading simply: “NO POORS...

Report: Oregon Inches Closer To California In Prestigious ‘Most Expensive State To Be Broke’ List

SALEM, OR — In a glowing new report released this week, Oregon has proudly climbed to the #2 position in the nation’s highly competitive Most Expensive State To Be Broke rankings, closing the gap with longtime champion California. “Oregon is showing real promise,” said lead economist Dana...

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

CRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster emerged from the lake’s impossibly blue depths Thursday afternoon and promptly devoured an entire boat tour, later blaming the impulsive act on a group of “obnoxiously loud TikTok...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...
Captain Dies Midair on Turkish Airlines Flight from Seattle

Captain Dies Midair on Turkish Airlines Flight from Seattle

A Turkish Airlines flight from Seattle to Istanbul was forced to make an emergency landing when Captain Ilcehin Pehlivan, 59, tragically collapsed mid-flight. The incident occurred aboard Flight TK204, which had departed from Seattle on Tuesday evening. As Pehlivan...

The Parade’s On Pause, But Halloweentown in Oregon Is Still a Halloween Favorite

The Parade’s On Pause, But Halloweentown in Oregon Is Still a Halloween Favorite

Who's ready for spooky season? The Spirit of Halloweentown will be back in full swing this October, turning St. Helens, Oregon into a month-long Halloween extravaganza. While the beloved Halloween parade won’t be part of the festivities this year, there’s still plenty...

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