Satire

Cat’s Patience Wearing Thin as Litter Box Remains Uncleaned

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Local feline resident and self-proclaimed ruler of the household, Mr. Whiskers, is reportedly reaching his breaking point over the state of his litter box. Sources close to the cat say his patience is wearing thin as his human, Becky Thompson, continues to neglect what Mr....

‘How to Bake a Lemon Cake’ Post Sparks 10,000-Comment Heated Trump Debate on Facebook

In a stunning display of internet chaos, an innocent “How to Bake a Lemon Cake” post has devolved into a 10,000-comment debate about President Donald Trump, proving that no topic is too trivial to become a political battleground. It all started when Sandra Mitchell, a retired teacher from Ohio,...

Forgotten Laundry Basket Scheduled for Relocation Delayed Due to Lack of Motivation

In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately known by the household as...

Local Man Pauses Movie for 15th Time as Wife Continues to Narrate Plot Twist He Hasn’t Seen Yet

MORRISON, OR – Local man Jared Thompson, 34, was forced to hit the pause button for the fifteenth time last night after his wife, Emily Thompson, 32, insisted on providing a running commentary for a plot twist he hadn’t actually reached yet. The couple had decided to settle in for a cozy movie...

New Study Finds 97% of Hot Springs Nudists Have the Exact Body Type No One Wants to See Naked

A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed. The study, which surveyed thousands of...

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