Bend Now Requiring All New Residents To Pick Up Mandatory Puffy Black Columbia Jacket At City Hall
BEND, OR — In a move city officials are calling “a natural evolution of our community’s identity,” Bend has officially begun requiring all new residents to report to City Hall within 48 hours of arrival to collect their mandatory puffy black Columbia jacket. The ordinance, passed unanimously by the Bend City Council after only 11 minutes of discussion and one enthusiastic fist-pump, aims to “streamline assimilation” for the thousands of newcomers flooding into the Central Oregon mountain town...
TRAVEL
Oregon is a beautiful destination for travelers who enjoy exploring the great outdoors. With its diverse landscape of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and coastline, there’s something for everyone to enjoy.
This Tiny Tackle Shop In Hebo Has a Breakfast Sandwich That’ll Hook You for Life
Open at 4AM, this hidden spot in Hebo is slinging breakfast sandwiches loaded with bacon, egg, and cheese on flaky biscuits or muffins.
Get Ready to Do the Truffle Shuffle! The Goonies 40th Anniversary Bash Is Coming to Astoria
Hey you guuuuys! Fire up your Data-style gadgets, pull out your map to One-Eyed Willy’s treasure, and grab a Baby Ruth because it’s time to head to Astoria, Oregon, for one of the most epic...
Lincoln City Launches Drone Show in First Firework-Free Fourth of July on the Oregon Coast
If you’re anything like me, the Fourth of July has always meant one thing: fireworks. The rumble in your chest, the sulfur in the air, the oohs and ahhs from the crowd as brilliant explosions light...
FOOD & DRINK
Explore Oregon’s food and drink scene – from locally sourced ingredients to craft brews and award-winning wines. Plan your culinary adventure now!
The Best Milkshakes in Oregon? Locals Say Sno Cap Has Had the Crown Since 1952
When it comes to milkshakes, Oregonians don’t mess around. You can’t just say you’ve got the best milkshake in town—you’ve got to prove it. And that’s exactly what Sno Cap Drive In in Sisters,...
People Drive From All Over Oregon To Indulge In The Ultimate Comfort Food At This Cozy Brewery
Tucked away in the small town of Monroe, Oregon, Long Timber Brewing Company is more than just a microbrewery and restaurant—it’s a tribute to the region’s rich logging history and a culinary...
The Shari’s We Once Knew Is Gone, and Its Empty Buildings Are Up for Grabs
PORTLAND, Ore. – If you ever spent a late night at Shari’s, chain-smoking cigarettes and nursing bottomless coffee refills in the ‘90s, this one stings. Shari’s Café & Pies—once a beacon of...
This Isn’t Satire: Eugene Man Arrested After Threats With Gun-Shaped Bong in Grocery Store Parking Lot
You’d be forgiven for thinking this was another one of our ridiculous headlines—because “man with rifle-shaped bong triggers full police response” sounds straight out of satire. But nope. This one’s 100% real, Oregon. On Friday afternoon, May 2, police in Eugene...
Portland Solves Downtown Drug Crisis Instantly With Bold New ‘Drug-Free Zone’ Signs
PORTLAND, OR — In a stunning turn of events, downtown Portland’s decades-long struggle with open-air drug use has officially ended—thanks to a bold new policy initiative: putting up a lot of signs. Lining the street like hopeful little soldiers, a series of “DRUG-FREE...
Trump Proposes New Holidays: ‘We’re the Best Day’ and ‘Other Countries Are Losers Day’
PALM BEACH, FL — In a late-night post on Truth Social sandwiched between rants about wind turbines and the deep state, former President Donald Trump announced a bold new plan to reshape the American holiday calendar by adding two new national holidays: “We’re the Best...
Portland Protesters Demand More Things to Protest
PORTLAND, OR — In a surprising show of unity, hundreds of Portland protesters gathered downtown Tuesday not to decry a specific issue, but to demand more things to be upset about. “Frankly, we’re running out,” said protester Kai Evergreen, who held a blank cardboard...
New Oregon Zip Line Debuts With Thrilling New Twist: Direct Collision With Tree
BEND, OR — In what Deschutes County officials are calling “an immersive forest engagement experience,” a new zip line attraction has opened just outside Bend — and instead of a smooth landing, it launches riders face-first into a very large pine tree. The ride, funded...
Woman Asks If Jeans Make Her Look Fat, Already Decided They Do
TUALATIN, OR — In a shocking display of emotional choreography and predetermined self-loathing, 34-year-old Heather Cline asked her boyfriend for the 497th time if her jeans made her look fat, despite having already rendered a silent, irrevocable verdict of “yes” the...
Pale Little Oregon Man Spotted in Tank Top; Witnesses in Troutdale Call It “Too Soon”
TROUTDALE, OR — In a shocking display of seasonal overconfidence, local man Darren Melby was reportedly seen walking down Main Street in a salmon-pink tank top Thursday morning, sending townsfolk into a mild panic and causing three drivers to swerve. “He was just out...
Doctors Confirm You’re Technically Still Alive, Just Tired Forever After Age 36
ATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking new report released Friday, doctors from the National Institute of Realistic Health confirmed that individuals over the age of 36 are, in fact, technically still alive—though most are now operating in a permanent state of exhaustion,...
Local Meth Cook Gives Back by Providing Free ‘Science Lessons’ to Youth
EUGENE, OR — In an inspiring display of community spirit, local meth entrepreneur Travis "Sparky" Jenkins has announced a new initiative aimed at educating the next generation of scientists: free backyard "science lessons" for area youth. “I just want to give back,...
Joe Biden Spotted Casually Driving Ice Cream Truck Through Downtown Portland
PORTLAND, OR — In what city officials have described as "just another Tuesday," former President Joe Biden was spotted casually driving an old-school ice cream truck through downtown Portland this afternoon, smiling brightly and proudly holding up an ice cream cone to...