News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Portland Man Emerges from Wet Cave After 93 Days, Hisses at Sunlight

OREGON COAST — In a scene described by witnesses as “like Gollum but with better accessories,” a Portland man known only as “Dreadmor, Lord of the Drizzle” emerged from a mossy coastal cave on Monday, flinching at the brightness of the midday sun and audibly hissing at a passing jogger. Witnesses...

Privileged Locals Cheer as “No Poors Allowed” Sign Installed at Lake in Lake Oswego

It’s just common sense,” says homeowner who paid $6.2 million to avoid eye contact. LAKE OSWEGO, OR — Wealthy residents of Lake Oswego, Oregon erupted in reserved, polite applause this week as a bold new sign was installed at the city's beloved private(ish) body of water, reading simply: “NO POORS...

Report: Oregon Inches Closer To California In Prestigious ‘Most Expensive State To Be Broke’ List

SALEM, OR — In a glowing new report released this week, Oregon has proudly climbed to the #2 position in the nation’s highly competitive Most Expensive State To Be Broke rankings, closing the gap with longtime champion California. “Oregon is showing real promise,” said lead economist Dana...

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

CRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster emerged from the lake’s impossibly blue depths Thursday afternoon and promptly devoured an entire boat tour, later blaming the impulsive act on a group of “obnoxiously loud TikTok...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...
Heatwave Continues In Pacific Northwest As Salem Hits 117 Degrees

Heatwave Continues In Pacific Northwest As Salem Hits 117 Degrees

Oregon and Washington, along with several other states and parts of Canada have been baking in the historic heatwave this week. Sunday Canada broke it's high-temperature record when Lytton British Columbia reached 116 degrees. Monday Salem Oregon was listed as the...

Fireworks ban effective immediately in Bend through July 9

Fireworks ban effective immediately in Bend through July 9

In light of record-breaking temperatures and drought conditions in Oregon, the City of Bend is banning all fireworks, legal and illegal, effective immediately. The ban is reported to go through July 9, as a local state of emergency has been declared in response to the...

Watch as record-breaking heat literally cooks eggs in Oregon

Watch as record-breaking heat literally cooks eggs in Oregon

Things are literally cooking in Oregon with temperatures reaching well over 100. It's so hot, Portland even set a record for the hottest day ever recorded for two days in a row as the temperature hit 112. Yesterday, on June 27, Blurry Bits Photography decided to have...

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