News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Crater Lake Monster Emerges Again, Blames TikTok Hikers for Eating Entire Boat Tour

CRATER LAKE, OR — In a shocking but increasingly routine display of aquatic fury, the legendary Crater Lake Monster emerged from the lake’s impossibly blue depths Thursday afternoon and promptly devoured an entire boat tour, later blaming the impulsive act on a group of “obnoxiously loud TikTok...

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...
Unplug and Plan a Getaway to This Gorgeous Historic Hotel in Oregon

Unplug and Plan a Getaway to This Gorgeous Historic Hotel in Oregon

The brothers Mike and Brian McMenamin are personal local heroes of mine. I had visited many of their properties and brewpubs in the Portland area but never realized their impact until my first time at the Kennedy School while living in NE PDX circa the early 2000s. I...

In-N-Out to officially open doors Thursday in Keizer

In-N-Out to officially open doors Thursday in Keizer

In-N-Out fans in Oregon will be excited to know the popular burger chain is slated to open their doors this Thursday, December 12 in Keizer. In-N-Out Burger was founded in Baldwin Park, California in 1948 by Harry and Esther Snyder, and was not present in Oregon until...

X