News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Finally, a Summer Theme Park Where No Kids Poop in the Lazy River and a 100% Chance of Blacking Out By Noon

ORLANDO, FL — A groundbreaking new theme park is making headlines for its two revolutionary promises: no children in the lazy river — and every adult will be aggressively blacked out by lunchtime. Lazy River Lagoon, opening this summer, has been described as “Spring Break meets early retirement” —...

Oregon DMV Orders Tesla Owners to Take Class: “Why Your Car Is Wrong And You Should Feel Bad”

SALEM, OR — In response to the growing public disdain for Elon Musk and the unfortunate social consequences of driving something associated with him, the Oregon DMV has announced a new mandatory six-week course for all Tesla owners titled: “Why Your Car Is Wrong and You Should Feel Bad.” According...

Eugene Man Sets Record For Longest Dreadlock in The World

EUGENE, OR — In a shocking display of follicular fortitude, Eugene resident River Moonstone has shattered all known records — and possibly local zoning ordinances — by growing a single dreadlock that now stretches, according to witnesses, "all the way down the street and possibly into...

Man’s Dignity Evaporates As Clerk Silently Points to Sign Reading ‘Porta Potty Outside’

NEEDLES, CA — Oregon native Daniel Price thought he was making a quick pit stop for gas and a restroom on his long drive through the California desert, but instead found himself in a quiet, humiliating standoff Thursday morning when the gas station clerk—without saying a word—lifted his arm and...

State Officials Quietly Swap Haystack Rock for Gold Man, Salem Left With a Sad, Bare Dome

In a baffling but somehow deeply Oregonian development, state officials have confirmed that the recently vacated site of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach has now been filled with the Oregon Pioneer—better known as the Gold Man from atop the Oregon State Capitol. The swap, carried out under cover of...
Man steals rifle from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene, $500 reward

Man steals rifle from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene, $500 reward

A man who stole a rifle and a scope from Mazama Sporting Goods in Eugene around 11:30 a.m. was caught on camera, and the owners are seeking any information you may have immediately. Mazama Sporting Goods, according to their Facebook post, is offering a $500 reward for...

Oregon State Park Closure To Be Extended Past May 8

Oregon State Park Closure To Be Extended Past May 8

In light of COVID-19, Oregon State Parks have announced via Facebook that the state park system is to remain closed past May 8. This news comes just one day after Washington state announcing state parks will open again May 5. No daytime or overnight visitors are...

Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

If there's going to be a strip club open amidst a global pandemic, of COURSE it is going to happen in Portland, Oregon. Lucky Devil Lounge started with their new food delivery service, with dancers bringing food to your door. The service was formerly known as Boober...

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

Just a few miles North of Pacific City and Cape Kiwanda you will find the Sandlake Recreation Area, where a 40 foot male grey whale washed up on Sand Lake overnight. The area covers 1,076 acres of open sand dunes, surrounded by forests and along side the Pacific...

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

In the day of UFO sightings becoming a regular thing, people are naturally curious and drawn to explainable lights and flying objects in the sky. As now even reported by local news stations as staff at KEZI counted counted 20 lights over a 10 minute period coming from...

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