by Tyler James | May 31, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
PORTLAND, OR — Chaos erupted in the Thompson household Wednesday evening when 19-year-old Antifa member Brayden Thompson was once again grounded after skipping his chores to attend a “Riot for Justice and Mild Property Damage” protest downtown. Brayden, a part-time...
by Tyler James | May 30, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
BANDON, OR — In what authorities are calling “the least surprising twist in an already shocking investigation,” a raccoon that recently escaped from the embattled West Coast Game Park Safari was discovered Tuesday night hunched behind a Dollar Tree, clutching a meth...
by Tyler James | May 29, 2025 | News, Satire
SPRINGFIELD, OR — A local woman was issued a citation for texting and driving Tuesday afternoon by a police officer who, according to witnesses, was simultaneously operating five separate electronic screens and finalizing a Taco Bell order with extra fire sauce. The...
by Jessica Tomlinson | May 28, 2025 | Adventures
Jollibee’s famous Filipino fried chicken is landing in Hillsboro! Get ready for Chickenjoy, sweet spaghetti, and huge opening day giveaways starting May 30. Never heard of Jollibee? A lot of people in the Pacific Northwest haven't, but for those that have tried it...
by Danielle Denham | May 27, 2025 | Adventures, Events, Family Fun, Featured, Festivals, Movies/TV Shows, News, Oregon Coast, Things To Do
Hey you guuuuys! Fire up your Data-style gadgets, pull out your map to One-Eyed Willy’s treasure, and grab a Baby Ruth because it’s time to head to Astoria, Oregon, for one of the most epic celebrations the Pacific Northwest has ever seen. June 5–8, 2025 marks the...
by Danielle Denham | May 27, 2025 | Crime, Featured, News
Just over a week after West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon made headlines for appalling animal neglect and the seizure of over 300 animals, the story has taken an even more shocking turn. New evidence reveals that the park may have been a hub for serious criminal...
by Tyler James | May 27, 2025 | News, Satire
EVERYWHERE, PACIFIC NORTHWEST — As summer inches closer and the scent of dry pine needles crisps in the warming breeze, Northwesterners from Bellingham to Bend are reportedly giddy with anticipation for that magical first lungful of campfire-flavored doom. “Oh yeah,...
by Tyler James | May 26, 2025 | News
WHEELER COUNTY, Ore. — The Butte Creek Fire has become Oregon’s first major wildfire of the 2025 season, erupting Sunday afternoon in northwest Wheeler County and growing rapidly overnight. As of Monday morning, the blaze has scorched an estimated 2,000 acres, a...
by Tyler James | May 26, 2025 | Holidays
As Oregonians, we’re no strangers to rugged mountains, wild coastlines, and the quiet beauty of the land we call home. But on Memorial Day, our focus turns not just to the land—but to those who have died defending it. Today, across the United States, we pause to...
by Tyler James | May 24, 2025 | News, Satire
PORTLAND, OR — In a city where expressing even the slightest nuance can result in immediate social exile, local man Brian Callahan has reportedly survived another week in Portland without being outed as a moderate — thanks to a carefully rehearsed “blank, vaguely...
