News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Local Hikers Cheer as Hero Delivers Flying Kick to Yet Another One of Those Annoying Rock Stacks

CASCADE RANGE, OR — A sense of awe swept through the hiking community this weekend as yet another rock stack met its dramatic end—this time at the foot (literally) of a mysterious figure some are beginning to call The Cairn Slayer. Witnesses say the man appeared out of the fog along the Pacific...

Research Finds Finest Coffee Poured by Baristas With Nose Ring, 12 Pronouns, and Zero Eye Contact

BEND, ORE— A newly published study from the Oregon Culinary Arts & Beverage Institute has revealed that the highest-rated coffee in the state is consistently brewed by baristas who share three key characteristics: a prominent nose ring, at least 12 self-identified pronouns, and an unwavering...

Oregon Adds Safe Spaces to Prisons in Case Murderers Feel Uncomfortable

SALEM, OR — In a bold new effort to make convicted murderers feel a little more at ease during their lengthy prison sentences, Oregon officials have announced the rollout of in-prison safe spaces — fully furnished with leather couches, decorative wall paneling, a calming “Safe Place” sign, and,...

Pathetic: Guy Who Sucks at Regular Golf Now Sucks at Disc Golf, Too

Eugene, OR — In a move that surprised absolutely no one, local man Trevor McMichaels has confirmed that his deeply embedded lack of athletic skill seamlessly translates from traditional golf to disc golf. “I just figured I’d try disc golf because it’s more laid back,” Trevor said, moments before...

Archaeologists Unearth Mysterious Metal Artifact in Oregon, May Date Back to Late 1970s

FORT ROCK, OR — Archaeologists working near the site of Oregon’s famed ancient sandals have stumbled upon a curious metallic object of unknown function, believed to date back to the late 1970s—a time period researchers refer to as “post-Woodstock but pre-Reagan, culturally speaking.” The object,...
Oregon Could See a Snowier Winter with La Niña on the Way

Oregon Could See a Snowier Winter with La Niña on the Way

A La Niña winter could be on the horizon for the United States, according to the Climate Prediction Center’s (CPC) latest forecast. The CPC, a division of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), suggests that La Niña is likely to develop between...

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