News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Archaeologists Unearth Mysterious Metal Artifact in Oregon, May Date Back to Late 1970s

FORT ROCK, OR — Archaeologists working near the site of Oregon’s famed ancient sandals have stumbled upon a curious metallic object of unknown function, believed to date back to the late 1970s—a time period researchers refer to as “post-Woodstock but pre-Reagan, culturally speaking.” The object,...

40-Year-Old Hiker Eager to Rediscover That One Weird Knee Pain Again This Weekend

BEND, OR — Local 40-year-old insurance adjuster and recreational hiker Kyle Marston is reportedly gearing up for another exciting weekend on the trails, where he fully expects to rediscover that same vague, mysterious knee pain that’s been haunting him since a poorly timed leap off a rock in 2017....

Easter Bunny Quits Lloyd Center Gig After Getting Jumped by Toddler With Brass Knuckles

PORTLAND, OR — In what mall officials are calling “an unfortunate holiday incident,” the Easter Bunny abruptly ended his seasonal duties at the Lloyd Center this weekend after reportedly being ambushed by a 3-year-old wielding toddler-sized brass knuckles and a sippy cup full of Red Bull....

CDC Warns Zombie Outbreak Probably Unlikely, But Also Definitely Starting in Portland’s Amtrak Station

PORTLAND, OR — In a newly released report blending cautious optimism with a strong whiff of apocalyptic dread, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced Wednesday that while a zombie outbreak is “probably unlikely,” it is also “definitely beginning inside Portland’s Amtrak...

Oregon Passes New Gun Law Limiting Citizens to Only Single-Shot Muskets

SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to reduce gun violence and increase reloading time to a full 90 seconds, Oregon lawmakers have passed a new bill that limits all private citizens to only single-shot muskets. Governor Tina Kotek signed the bill into law Tuesday while dramatically quoting...
Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

Drive-Thru Strip Club in Oregon Offers Free TP and Food Delivery

If there's going to be a strip club open amidst a global pandemic, of COURSE it is going to happen in Portland, Oregon. Lucky Devil Lounge started with their new food delivery service, with dancers bringing food to your door. The service was formerly known as Boober...

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

40-Foot Whale Washes Up On Oregon Coast Overnight

Just a few miles North of Pacific City and Cape Kiwanda you will find the Sandlake Recreation Area, where a 40 foot male grey whale washed up on Sand Lake overnight. The area covers 1,076 acres of open sand dunes, surrounded by forests and along side the Pacific...

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

Mysterious Lights in Sky Friday Night Cause Stir in Eugene Area

In the day of UFO sightings becoming a regular thing, people are naturally curious and drawn to explainable lights and flying objects in the sky. As now even reported by local news stations as staff at KEZI counted counted 20 lights over a 10 minute period coming from...

Pink Floyd to Stream Full Concert Videos During COVID-19

Pink Floyd to Stream Full Concert Videos During COVID-19

If there's one thing we have no shortage of in America amidst the COVID-19 virus, it's at home entertainment. One of the most influential and talented bands ever known to man, Pink Floyd, is expected to launch a weekly series of full concert videos on YouTube starting...

Farmers’ Market in Corvallis, Oregon to open this Saturday

Farmers’ Market in Corvallis, Oregon to open this Saturday

Looking to get some fresh produce? Well you will be happy to know the Corvallis-Albany Farmers' Market is expected to open up this Saturday, April 18. Of course, as shown in the post on Facebook, some basic guidelines should be followed in light of COVID-19. The...

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