Humor

Coos Bay Wins Award for ‘Best Place People Drive Through on Their Way to Bandon’

Coos Bay has officially been recognized with the prestigious honor of “Best Place People Drive Through on Their Way to Bandon”, as awarded by the esteemed travel magazine Scenic Secrets Quarterly. The recognition comes after an exhaustive survey of road-trippers, coastal wanderers, and lost...

Unbothered Mom Casually Bag Her Apples As Screaming Little Brat’s Tantrum Enters Its Third Act

Shoppers at a local grocery store were forced to endure a multi-act opera of chaos Sunday afternoon as a small, shoeless little brat unleashed an earth-shaking tantrum in the produce section. Meanwhile, her mother—clearly a seasoned veteran of public meltdowns—remained entirely unbothered,...

Health Experts Warn Gluten Found in Fentanyl Could Be Hazardous to Your Health

PORTLAND, OR — Health experts have today issued a shocking warning that fentanyl circulating on the streets of Portland has tested positive for gluten, a protein composite normally found in wheat, rye, and barley. In response, a new advocacy group called Action on Gluten has been formed to help...

Portland Walmart Tests New AI-Powered Doors That Don’t Open For Tweakers

PORTLAND, OR – Walmart has unveiled a bold new experiment in Portland, testing out cutting-edge AI-powered technology designed to combat a growing problem: tweakers. The store’s automatic doors are now equipped with advanced artificial intelligence that can detect classic signs of meth-fueled...

HEAT WAVE: Local Dad in Fresh Kicks Fires Up The Grill As Temps in Oregon Soar Above 50 Degrees

SPRINGFIELD, OR — The scent of lighter fluid and overconfidence filled the air Friday afternoon as local dad, Greg Thompson, triumphantly wheeled out his Weber grill, declaring it "grilling season" the moment temperatures climbed to a balmy 50 degrees. Despite a forecast of overcast skies and a...

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