Experts warn gluten found in meth could be hazardous to your health

PORTLAND, OR — Health experts have today warned that meth found on the streets of Portland has tested positive for gluten, a protein composite normally found in several types of grains, including wheat, spelt, rye, and barley.

Action on Gluten has been set up to help meth users avoid “hidden gluten”, and to get drug dealers to offer a much safer gluten free meth for the tweaker communities of Oregon.

The organization believes they can successfully eliminate gluten from meth completely within a year, ensuring a much cleaner form of crystal and a brighter future for children who love meth.

Action on Gluten spokesperson Simon Krueger explained, “Gluten is not only dangerous, but also highly addictive. When added to meth, an otherwise fairly safe drug, the consequences can be deadly.”

“While the majority of drug dealers are honest, hard working, and have compassion for their consumers, unfortunately a handful of dealers are ruining the party for everyone as they are sneaking the poisonous gluten into their product.”

“As a result unsuspecting users are sniffing meth, not even realizing they are actually also sniffing gluten.”

“We just want Oregonians to be aware of the facts about gluten, and to realize that just their meth may not be as clean as they thought.”

Meth laced with deadly gluten

According to one study, over 80% of people don’t even know they are sniffing gluten meth. Tweakers in Oregon have reacted with shock at the gluten revelations, insisting they will be more careful about who they purchase their chunky white crunch from.

Tweaker Arnold Warren told us, “I’ve lost so much weight recently, and all my teeth are falling out. I was really concerned as to what the f*** was happening to me, but now this explains it.”

Warren also shared with That Oregon Life he plans to live a more healthy lifestyle, and his new year resolution for 2016 includes being a gluten free tweaker.

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  1. When I buy my meth for myself and my autistic children, I always get it from the alley behind Whole Foods so I know that its gluten and lactose free. And only from cooks who are not eating dairy products from cows treated with rBST. It’s just better to be safe than sorry.

  2. Always warn your guests if the meth you serve has gluten. Many people have gluten sensitivities and they could have severe health issues if they ingest gluten. With their meth. Because the gluten is definitely the detail you want to focus on. When you take meth. And while the meth in the meth may be a mild reason for concern, don’t forget the gluten. In the meth.

  3. Some shit just never fails to amaze me, well maybe not amaze me but interest me, well maybe not interest me, now days maybe just not disgust me, well maybe not disgust me but, just makes me shake my head and laugh !!!!!

  4. Has someone lost their itty bitty minds? Gluten is the dangerous part? Okay, let’s look at this objectively. Gluten DOES NOT KILL YOU. Meth WILL KILL YOU. Now I may not be a researcher or a paid scientist, but even I know DEATH IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE RUNS.

  5. The Portland PD and OSP will test for gluten in your meth for free. They don’t want anyone consuming gluten tainted meth. The program is available at all stations and from most patrol units. Seriously, you don’t want to mess with that stuff.

  6. theres Acetone. Nail polish remover or paint thinner. Extremely flammable. …

    Lithium. Used in batteries. Lithium seriously burns the skin upon contact. …

    Toluene. Used in brake fluid. …

    Hydrochloric. Acid. …

    Pseudoephedrine. Decongestant found in cold medicine. …

    Red. Phosphorus. …

    Sodium. Hydroxide. …

    Sulfuric. Acid.

    used to make meth and they worry about a little gluten..