SALEM, OR—In a bold move that can only be described as "heroically gluttonous," local man Derek Caldwell ordered a fourth basket of tortilla chips at a downtown Mexican restaurant Friday evening. Witnesses report that Caldwell, who was deep in conversation about "how...
Scientists have finally cracked the case on one of humanity's most baffling mysteries: why does Daylight Savings Time exist? After years of speculation, historical digging, and a shocking amount of caffeine-fueled debates, the answer is now official—Daylight Savings...
Move over, Burnside—Crater Lake National Park is rolling into the skateboarding scene with the highly anticipated “Volcano Bowl,” a skate park slated to open in the summer of 2026. Already being hailed as the most breathtaking (and vertigo-inducing) spot to shred on...
Move over luxury cars and designer handbags—there’s a new status symbol for 2025: a massive 60-pack of eggs. That’s right, eggs. Once the humble MVP of breakfast, these oval treasures have ascended to the ranks of fine jewelry, rare art, and beachfront property as the...
In a move no one saw coming—but somehow everyone expected—Nabisco has unveiled its newest twist on the classic saltine: a cracker so flaky it practically disintegrates at the mere thought of biting into it. Dubbed the "Ultra Flaky Saltine," these snacks are designed...
Somewhere Deep in the Wilderness — Self-proclaimed hiking purist Brent "NaturePurist87" Henderson, 34, was reportedly furious Sunday morning after discovering that a so-called “secret” waterfall hike he read about on a hiking blog was, in fact, no longer a secret....
SALEM, OR — Frustrated by the complete lack of communication from the Trump administration regarding Oregon’s frozen federal funding, Governor Tina Kotek has taken an unconventional approach: hiring a psychic medium to establish contact with President Trump. "We've...
Portland’s latest progressive traffic law aims to bridge the “understanding gap” between drivers and cyclists PORTLAND, OR – In an unprecedented move that solidifies Portland’s status as the nation's most bike-friendly city, local officials have passed a controversial...
Oregon diners looking forward to a hearty breakfast might need to start checking their fridges before heading out. In a move that perfectly captures the spirit of desperate times, desperate measures, several Oregon breakfast joints have announced a new "BYOE" (Bring...
In a heartwarming display of corporate compassion, local work-from-home boss Greg Daniels—cozy in his flannel pajama pants—has reassured his employees that the roads “aren’t that bad,” despite a winter storm dumping over six feet of snow overnight, transforming the...
Hiking in Oregon just got a whole lot more exclusive. Following in the footsteps of every streaming service, gym membership, and software company, Oregon State Parks have unveiled a brand-new subscription model for accessing public trails, scenic viewpoints,...
In a stunning turn of events, the Greater Idaho movement has thrown out its old map, crumpled it into a wad of regret, and decided to annex the entire state of Oregon—except Portland, which they claim is “too far gone” to save. “We realized we were thinking way too...