In a heartwarming display of corporate compassion, local work-from-home boss Greg Daniels—cozy in his flannel pajama pants—has reassured his employees that the roads “aren’t that bad,” despite a winter storm dumping over six feet of snow overnight, transforming the...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
REPORT: Oregonians See First Snowflake, Immediately Forget How to Drive, Walk, and Function
OREGON – In a shocking turn of events that happens literally every single year, Oregonians have once again been caught completely off guard by the arrival of snow. Despite meteorologists warning of an incoming winter storm for a week, the state collectively gasped in...
Oregon State Parks Introduce Monthly Hiking Plans With New “TrailFlix” App
Hiking in Oregon just got a whole lot more exclusive. Following in the footsteps of every streaming service, gym membership, and software company, Oregon State Parks have unveiled a brand-new subscription model for accessing public trails, scenic viewpoints,...
Greater Idaho Expands: “We’re Taking All of Oregon, But Portland’s Getting Walled Off”
In a stunning turn of events, the Greater Idaho movement has thrown out its old map, crumpled it into a wad of regret, and decided to annex the entire state of Oregon—except Portland, which they claim is “too far gone” to save. “We realized we were thinking way too...
Facebook User Stunned to Discover His Rant Didn’t Instantly Change the Other Guy’s Mind
Boring, Oregon — In what experts are calling an unprecedented failure of logic and reason, a local man in Boring, Oregon, was left completely stunned after his lengthy, all-caps social media rant failed to immediately convince a stranger to change their entire...
Portland Decriminalizes Crime—Residents Now Required to Politely Ask Criminals to Stop
Faced with an unprecedented rise in crime, Portland’s City Council has taken decisive action—by officially decriminalizing all crime. In a unanimous vote on Tuesday night, officials opted to remove all criminal penalties from the books, arguing that traditional laws...
Gresham Mysteriously Missing from Yet Another ‘Must-See in Oregon’ Travel Guide
It’s happened again. Another “Top 10 Must-Visit Places in Oregon” article has hit the internet, and, in a shocking turn of events that no one could have possibly predicted, Gresham has once again been left off the list. We’re not talking about some small, overlooked...
Inconvenient Child Declares, “Mom, I Have to Go. Like, Really Bad”—Right After the Final Rest Stop for 50 Miles
RURAL HIGHWAY, USA — In what experts are calling a “statistically impossible yet somehow inevitable event,” a local child has once again declared an urgent need to use the restroom precisely five minutes after the final available rest stop for 50 miles. Eyewitnesses...
After Years of Being in the Ocean, Haystack Rock is Moving to Central Oregon—And People Have Questions
In a move no one saw coming—yet somehow makes complete sense in the most Oregon way possible—state officials have confirmed that Haystack Rock is being relocated to Central Oregon, where it will be placed right next to Smith Rock. Cannon Beach residents, long...
Another Oregon Town Ranked ‘Most Adorable’ by a Magazine You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
Yet another Oregon town has been thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to Quaint Living Weekly, a prestigious, possibly AI-generated publication that, despite its apparent influence, no one has actually seen in print. According to the magazine, [Insert Oregon...
State Officials Confirm: ‘Salem Has a Capitol Building, And That’s Pretty Much It’
SALEM, OR — After years of speculation, confusion, and outright apathy, state officials have finally confirmed what many Oregonians have long suspected: Salem has a Capitol building, and that’s pretty much it. The announcement came during a press conference held in...
Study Finds Oregon Drivers Believe Left Lane is the Perfect Place to Reflect on Life at 62 MPH
SALEM, OR — A new study has confirmed what every frustrated driver on I-5 already suspected: for many Oregonians, the left lane isn’t a place for efficient travel—it’s a sacred space for deep personal reflection at exactly three miles under the speed limit. According...