Portland’s tourism board has announced an exciting new way for visitors to experience the city’s vibrant urban landscape: “TentBnB” – the ultimate authentic downtown lodging experience! For just $89 a night (or $10 if you book directly with Rick behind the 7-Eleven),...
BREAKING: The long-awaited Epstein list is finally set to be released today, and officials insist—without a single wink or nervous glance—that it is completely unaltered, totally uncompromised, and in no way missing any names that might cause billionaires to break out...
Hundreds of Oregonians were rushed to the hospital over the past couple of days after an unseasonably bright sun made the mistake of shining down upon the pasty, vitamin-D-deprived masses emerging from their winter hibernation. The incident, now being referred to as...
It started as any other adventure vlog—Kyle, self-proclaimed "wilderness influencer" and part-time crypto enthusiast, set out on a solo trek through Crater Lake National Park in search of "epic, untouched content." Armed with nothing but his phone, a knockoff GoPro,...
Portland, OR – In what some are calling an act of divine intervention, local progressive and proud Kamala Harris supporter Jeremy Feldman returned to his parked Tesla Model 3 in downtown Portland on Tuesday night to find it completely intact—a statistical...
SPRINGFIELD, OR — A local man successfully executed a highly strategic window roll-up maneuver this morning, narrowly avoiding both an excessively friendly Dutch Bros barista and the ear-piercing bass of yet another shitty mumble rap track. Eyewitnesses report that...
In a development that has surprised absolutely no one, the Oregon Coast has been voted the best place for sunbathing in 2025. The announcement was made by the Totally Legit Travel Awards committee, who, after an extensive survey of places with cold wind, relentless...
SPRINGFIELD, OR — Local feline resident and self-proclaimed ruler of the household, Mr. Whiskers, is reportedly reaching his breaking point over the state of his litter box. Sources close to the cat say his patience is wearing thin as his human, Becky Thompson,...
In a stunning display of internet chaos, an innocent “How to Bake a Lemon Cake” post has devolved into a 10,000-comment debate about President Donald Trump, proving that no topic is too trivial to become a political battleground. It all started when Sandra Mitchell, a...
In a shocking turn of events, a forgotten laundry basket brimming with clean clothes has yet again failed to complete its journey from the living room to the bedroom, citing "lack of motivation" as the primary reason for the delay. The laundry basket, affectionately...
MORRISON, OR – Local man Jared Thompson, 34, was forced to hit the pause button for the fifteenth time last night after his wife, Emily Thompson, 32, insisted on providing a running commentary for a plot twist he hadn’t actually reached yet. The couple had decided to...
A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed. The study, which...