BEND, Ore. — In a turn of events that has left the Oregon high school sports world dazed and confused (and possibly inspired), 42-year-old Trent Lawson of Bend has not only declared himself a 17-year-old high school junior but also quarterbacked the Roosevelt Ridge JV football team straight to a state championship.
“I just felt like a quarterback again,” said Lawson, still in his grass-stained uniform, chugging chocolate milk from a juice box. “When Coach said they needed a leader, I knew it was time to spiritually re-enroll.”
Trent, a father of three and assistant manager at an O’Reilly Auto Parts, reportedly began his "identity realignment" after finding his old letterman jacket in the attic and being overcome with “Friday Night Lights-related emotions.”
According to Roosevelt Ridge’s principal, the school’s new “inclusive athletics policy” doesn’t technically forbid 42-year-old men from joining the JV team if they feel like high school students, though officials admit they never expected to need such clarification.
Coach Dan Murphy praised Trent’s dedication. “The guy runs a 40-yard dash in about 8.5 seconds and yells audibles like he’s ordering off a Denny’s menu,” Murphy said. “But you can’t coach grit. And that man has dad-strength.”
Do you love Oregon?
Sign up for monthly emails full of local travel inspiration and fun trip ideas. In each newsletter we'll share upcoming events, new things to do, hot dining spots and great travel ideas.
Opposing teams were less impressed. “He stiff-armed our linebacker into the Gatorade table,” said Jefferson High’s coach, shaking his head. “And he brought a Crock-Pot to the locker room.”
Lawson’s game-day rituals included listening to early 2000s nu-metal, doing one push-up, and updating his fantasy football lineup from the sidelines.
The Oregon State High School Sports Commission is now reviewing complaints, but Lawson remains unfazed. “If Tom Brady can keep playing into his 40s, why can’t I start at 42?” he said, while icing his entire lower body.
When asked what’s next, Lawson said he’s considering joining the JV basketball team as a 16-year-old power forward, “pending a soul-searching trip to Foot Locker.”
