In a nationwide study that absolutely no one asked for, Eugene, Oregon, has taken home the prestigious title of “Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM.” The study, conducted by the National Scent Awareness Coalition (NSAC), found that 87% of residents and visitors reported catching a strong whiff of cannabis long before their morning coffee.
“This is a big win for Eugene,” said local dispensary owner and self-proclaimed aroma ambassador, Bud Greenway. “We’ve always been proud of our vibrant cannabis culture, but to know the whole nation recognizes our morning musk? That’s the kind of legacy you can’t roll up and smoke.”
The report highlights Eugene’s unique ability to maintain a persistent “wake-and-bake” ambiance, with some attributing the aroma to the city’s commitment to environmental consciousness. “You’d think it’s from people lighting up at home, but honestly, most of it is just leftover from last night. Eugene’s weed scent is renewable energy at its finest,” said a representative from the local sustainability council.
While many locals celebrated the honor, the results weren’t without controversy. Residents of Boulder, Colorado, and Santa Cruz, California, have accused the NSAC of bias, claiming their cities also have “morning weed vibes that could knock you over.” Santa Cruz even filed an appeal, citing their annual “Wake and Bake Brunch Festival” as evidence.
In response, Eugene City Council announced plans to embrace its new title with open arms. Plans are already underway for a "Dank Dawn Festival," featuring free coffee, CBD donuts, and yoga classes set to reggae music at Alton Baker Park.
Visitors are encouraged to explore Eugene’s iconic morning ritual firsthand—just don’t forget to pack a snack, as hunger tends to hit surprisingly early.
