SPRINGFIELD, OR — Local feline resident and self-proclaimed ruler of the household, Mr. Whiskers, is reportedly reaching his breaking point over the state of his litter box. Sources close to the cat say his patience is wearing thin as his human, Becky Thompson, continues to neglect what Mr. Whiskers calls “the most basic responsibility of a servant.”
“Honestly, I’m appalled,” Mr. Whiskers stated in an exclusive interview, perched regally atop the living room couch. “She has one job. Scoop the poop. It’s not like I’m asking her to catch mice or defend my kingdom from invaders.”
According to eyewitness accounts, Becky has ignored the litter box for three days straight, citing excuses such as “work,” “being too tired,” and “having more important things to do.” However, Mr. Whiskers strongly disagrees with these priorities.
“More important than me?” he scoffed, flicking his tail in disgust. “She wouldn’t last a day without my emotional support and impeccable supervision. I deserve a clean litter box, and I deserve it now.”
In an unprecedented move, Mr. Whiskers has taken drastic action to ensure his voice is heard. Earlier this morning, he reportedly dragged his favorite toy mouse into Becky’s shoe and left it there as a subtle reminder of his dissatisfaction. Witnesses describe the scene as “tense.”
At 3 p.m., Mr. Whiskers escalated his protest by knocking a full glass of water off the kitchen counter, an act described as “both petty and completely justified.”
Neighbor and fellow cat Ginger offered her thoughts on the situation. “I don’t blame him one bit. Humans act like cleaning a litter box is rocket science, but it’s really not that complicated,” she said. “If I were him, I’d leave a little ‘surprise’ in her purse next.”
When reached for comment, Becky appeared remorseful. “I know I’ve been slacking, but I just got caught up with things. I’ll clean it right now,” she said, nervously glancing at Mr. Whiskers, who was glaring at her with narrowed eyes.
At press time, Mr. Whiskers was seen observing Becky as she cleaned the litter box, silently judging her technique and muttering something about “finally getting the respect he deserves.”
