by Tyler James | May 18, 2025 | Adventures
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Longtime U.S. Senator Ron Wyden (D–NY by lifestyle, OR by paperwork) reportedly had a fleeting thought about visiting the state of Oregon this week, according to sources close to his travel assistant. The moment occurred while he was booking a...
by Tyler James | May 18, 2025 | History
Today marks 45 years since the catastrophic eruption of Mount St. Helens, a day etched into the history of the Pacific Northwest—and the minds of everyone who lived through it. On the morning of May 18, 1980, at 8:32 a.m., the mountain violently exploded, forever...
by Tyler James | May 17, 2025 | Crime, News
EUGENE, Ore. – In a moment that reaffirms our faith in good people standing their ground, justice has officially been served in Eugene. Back in October 2024, a quiet night at a local convenience store on Commons Drive turned into a nightmare when 21-year-old Noah...
by Tyler James | May 17, 2025 | Crime, News
Let’s stop sugarcoating this. The West Coast Game Park Safari in Bandon, Oregon, is not a zoo — it’s a decades-long embarrassment where animals suffer for tourist selfies. During my 2022 trip to Bandon, I refused to spend a single dime there, and I stand by that...
by Tyler James | May 17, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Bend, OR — The long-awaited legacy sequel Final Destination: Bloodlines is now terrifying audiences in theaters nationwide, reigniting a very specific trauma among 90s kids: the paralyzing fear of being pulverized by airborne lumber on the freewa “I haven’t driven...
by Tyler James | May 17, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Boring, Oregon – In a quiet act of denial witnessed by absolutely no one, 52-year-old Brian Cutler stood motionless over his laundry basket Monday afternoon, clutching a pair of severely compromised boxers he’s owned since the Bush administration. The boxers,...
by Tyler James | May 16, 2025 | News, Satire
SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was the 86th time this year. Dave, who hasn’t...
by Tyler James | May 16, 2025 | News, Satire
In a move that perfectly embodies everything you feared after the election but told yourself to “wait and see,” the people you now deeply regret voting for held an emergency meeting today—not to fix potholes, homelessness, or anything remotely useful—but to invent...
by Tyler James | May 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their boyfriends mid-swipe. The bio in question?“I chop...
by Tyler James | May 15, 2025 | News, Satire
Springfield, OR — Residents were once again left clutching their pearls this week after hearing rumors about yet another offbeat strip club opening in their neighborhood — but this time, it’s not pregnant women causing a stir. It’s grandmothers. The new establishment,...
