News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Local Man Casually Stands at Edge of Lawn for 45 Minutes Just to Let Everyone Know He Did That

BEND, OR — Sources confirm that 53-year-old Brian Halverson spent approximately 45 full minutes this past Saturday standing silently at the edge of his freshly mowed lawn, arms crossed and chin slightly elevated, just long enough for every neighbor within visual range to know—without question—that...

Sad: Oregon Creamery’s Full Tub of Ice Cream Now Just a Tiny Micro-Pint Thanks to Inflation

OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so small it legally qualifies as a sample. The company, long known for generous...

Oregon Democrats Introduce Bill to Replace Axe Throwing With Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss

SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something more emotionally enriching: the Safe Space Rubber Dart Toss. House Bill 1147,...

M&Ms To Be Coated With Kale Slime Following New Ban on Food Dyes

U.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that all colorful M&Ms will now be coated in a thick layer of organic kale slime following HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s sweeping ban on artificial food dyes. The move comes...

New Study: Meth Users Found to Be World’s Leading Experts in Unattended Tool Acquisition

EUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now the world’s foremost experts in unattended tool acquisition, also known in some legal circles as “theft.” The study, conducted by researchers who asked to remain anonymous for “obvious...
Runaway Cow Keeps Oregon State Police Busy on I-84

Runaway Cow Keeps Oregon State Police Busy on I-84

Talk about starting the New Year with a bang—or should we say a moo? On January 1, the Oregon State Police were called to handle an utterly udderly bizarre situation: a rogue cow hoofing it down Interstate 84 near Hood River. This wasn’t your average backyard escapee....

Trestle Collapse in Corvallis Derails Train Into Marys River

Trestle Collapse in Corvallis Derails Train Into Marys River

A train trestle over the Marys River in Corvallis collapsed on Saturday afternoon, sending one train car carrying agricultural materials into the river and leaving two other cars unstable. The incident, which occurred at approximately 12:08 p.m., involved a 19-car...

Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport to Undergo Renovations in 2025

Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport to Undergo Renovations in 2025

Nestled on a picturesque bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport, Oregon, has long been a cherished retreat for book lovers and travelers alike. Renowned for its literary charm, the hotel is now embarking on a new chapter. On Sunday,...

Homeowner Fatally Shoots Intruder Breaking In Day After Christmas

Homeowner Fatally Shoots Intruder Breaking In Day After Christmas

On the evening of December 26, 2024, in Manatee County, Florida, a homeowner demonstrated the importance of being prepared to defend one’s home and loved ones. Two intruders forced their way into the home, but one of them would not leave alive. The incident...

X