News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Woman Thrilled to Spend Two Hours on Perfectly Straight I-5 Staring at Grass

SALEM, OR — For most drivers, the two-hour stretch of perfectly straight I-5 between Eugene and Portland is a test of mental endurance. But for 34-year-old Springfield resident Laura Jenkins, it’s the highlight of her week. “This is my me time,” Jenkins said, leaning against her Subaru Outback at...

Oregon Named Worst State to Move To, Mostly Because Everyone Here Already Hates You

A new analysis ranking Oregon among the worst states to relocate to has shocked absolutely no one within Oregon’s borders, where the news was met with the kind of smug satisfaction usually reserved for hearing that your least favorite cousin moved back to Ohio. The study, conducted by a group of...

Local Man Now Glows in the Dark Like a Human Glow Stick After Swim in Willamette River

PORTLAND, Ore. — What started as a casual afternoon swim in the Willamette River ended with one local man unintentionally becoming Portland’s newest source of renewable energy. Witnesses say 34-year-old Derek Morrison emerged from the Kelly Point Park section of the river last Tuesday “radiating a...

Christine Drazan Bravely Announces She’s Into Men While Testing Waters for 2026 Run

In a bold move sure to shake up Oregon’s political landscape, former House Minority Leader Christine Drazan has publicly confirmed what many suspected: she is, in fact, into men. The announcement, which came alongside a $55,000 payment to Republican polling firm Public Opinion Strategies, is being...

Louisiana Sues Roblox While It Attempts to Shut Down Predator Hunter Exposing Groomers

Roblox, the massively popular gaming platform played by millions of children worldwide, is under fire on two fronts this week as it faces a new lawsuit from the state of Louisiana over alleged child exploitation failures while its CEO is being urged to resign after sending a cease and desist...
Man Stares Blankly as Wife Introduces 86th Plant This Year

Man Stares Blankly as Wife Introduces 86th Plant This Year

SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was the 86th time this year. Dave, who hasn’t...

X