News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

GoFundMe Launched for Prineville Man Blinded in Brutal Attack by Mentally Ill Neighbor Claiming to Be a Jedi

PRINEVILLE, Ore. — A Prineville family is asking the public for help after a horrifying, unprovoked home invasion left 53-year-old Steve Wilson with devastating injuries, including shattered facial bones and partial vision loss. The suspect, a neighbor with a reported history of mental illness,...

Report: Another Guy Gets “Unique” Forest Tattoo on Forearm

PORTLAND, OR — In a development surprising no one, another guy in the Pacific Northwest has reportedly gotten a tattoo of a forest on his forearm. Witnesses say the man, identified only as “Kyle,” emerged from a local tattoo studio Tuesday afternoon sporting a tasteful arrangement of silhouetted...

Jerry Garcia Back From the Dead, Oregon Country Fairgoers Blame the Edibles After Surprise Ghost Set

VENETA, Ore. — In a move that can only be described as “Grateful, Undead and Totally Unexpected,” the spirit of Jerry Garcia reportedly materialized onstage Friday evening at the Oregon Country Fair, triggering mass confusion that was blamed entirely on rampant edible consumption. Festivalgoers...

Tina Kotek Announces $500 Fine for “Unauthorized Splashing” on Oregon Rivers

SALEM, OR — In a bold new effort to “restore order and tranquility” to Oregon’s waterways, Governor Tina Kotek unveiled legislation this week that would impose a $500 fine for any “unauthorized splashing” on rivers across the state. “Too many Oregonians think they can just hop on an inner tube and...

Experts Confirm Only Chance of National Unity Is If Asteroid Obliterates Planet

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sobering report released Thursday, leading political scientists confirmed that the only remaining path toward national unity would require a planet-destroying asteroid to obliterate all life on Earth. “After analyzing decades of data, partisan divides, and over 47 million...
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