News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Greater Idaho Expands: “We’re Taking All of Oregon, But Portland’s Getting Walled Off”

In a stunning turn of events, the Greater Idaho movement has thrown out its old map, crumpled it into a wad of regret, and decided to annex the entire state of Oregon—except Portland, which they claim is “too far gone” to save. “We realized we were thinking way too small,” said Greater Idaho...

Facebook User Stunned to Discover His Rant Didn’t Instantly Change the Other Guy’s Mind

Boring, Oregon — In what experts are calling an unprecedented failure of logic and reason, a local man in Boring, Oregon, was left completely stunned after his lengthy, all-caps social media rant failed to immediately convince a stranger to change their entire worldview. The incident occurred late...

Portland Decriminalizes Crime—Residents Now Required to Politely Ask Criminals to Stop

Faced with an unprecedented rise in crime, Portland’s City Council has taken decisive action—by officially decriminalizing all crime. In a unanimous vote on Tuesday night, officials opted to remove all criminal penalties from the books, arguing that traditional laws were “exacerbating systemic...

Gresham Mysteriously Missing from Yet Another ‘Must-See in Oregon’ Travel Guide

It’s happened again. Another “Top 10 Must-Visit Places in Oregon” article has hit the internet, and, in a shocking turn of events that no one could have possibly predicted, Gresham has once again been left off the list. We’re not talking about some small, overlooked hamlet on the edge of the...

Inconvenient Child Declares, “Mom, I Have to Go. Like, Really Bad”—Right After the Final Rest Stop for 50 Miles

RURAL HIGHWAY, USA — In what experts are calling a “statistically impossible yet somehow inevitable event,” a local child has once again declared an urgent need to use the restroom precisely five minutes after the final available rest stop for 50 miles. Eyewitnesses (namely, one extremely...
Three Separate Drownings Lead to a Heartbreaking Weekend in Oregon

Three Separate Drownings Lead to a Heartbreaking Weekend in Oregon

Oregon experienced a tragic weekend with three separate drowning incidents in different parts of the state. These incidents occurred in the Willamette River, Yachats, and Diamond Lake, claiming the lives of three individuals who were either trying to save others or...

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