News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Costco Unveils 470 lbs Rotisserie Chicken in Oregon, Forklifts Now Available at Checkout

SALEM, OR — In a bold new move to secure its place as America’s favorite bulk-buying utopia, Costco has unveiled its most jaw-dropping creation yet: a 470-pound rotisserie chicken that promises to feed an entire neighborhood, or one very determined uncle during football season. Currently being...

Bigfoot Cancels Oregon Appearances, Explains “Can’t Afford to Be Spotted Here Anymore”

OREGON — After centuries of mysterious sightings, blurry photos, and grainy VHS documentaries, Bigfoot has officially canceled all future appearances in Oregon, citing skyrocketing living costs as the final straw. “Look, I’ve been dodging hikers, hunters, and tabloids for decades,” Bigfoot told...

Gas Prices Hit 4 Year Low Across America But Oregon Is Stuck Near 4 Dollars A Gallon

While the rest of the country is cruising into Labor Day with the cheapest gas they’ve seen in four years, Oregon drivers are still stuck paying nearly $4 a gallon according to The Oregonian — and it’s only getting worse. The U.S. average? A cool $3.13 per gallon. Oregon? $3.98 and climbing....

Kotek Unveils ‘Wheel of New State Taxes’ After Funds Vanish Into Oregon’s Black Hole

SALEM, OR — With Oregon’s budget once again disappearing into what experts are calling “a large cosmic anomaly in Salem,” Governor Tina Kotek proudly unveiled her brand-new “Wheel of New State Taxes” at a press conference Thursday. The massive carnival-style wheel, adorned with bizarre new revenue...

Missing Tillamook Woman’s Remains Found Seven Years After She Vanished

In November 2018, 59 year old Maria Del Carmen Quintana was last seen at her house in Tillamook County, Oregon not too far from Highway 53, and then she vanished without a trace. Maria was considered endangered, and the search for her continued into December of 2018 when search and rescue teams...
Oregon Bans Conservatives

Oregon Bans Conservatives

SALEM, OR — In a move hailed by absolutely no one outside the Portland metro area, Oregon lawmakers have officially banned conservatives from residing in the state, citing “vibe mismatch” and “continued misuse of the word ‘woke.’” The emergency legislation, passed...

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