News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Trump Suggests Adding His Face to Mount Rushmore, Proposes ‘Executive Order’ to Expedite

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested—and seemingly succeeded in—adding his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his "tremendous" accomplishments, "record-breaking presidency," and "undeniably perfect jawline." According to sources close to the...

Local Woman Proudly Shows Off ‘Check Engine’ Light That Has Been On Since 2018

Local woman Jessica Reynolds is beaming with pride after successfully keeping her car’s “Check Engine” light on for an impressive six years, setting what experts are calling a “remarkable new record in automotive neglect.” “I don’t even see it anymore,” Reynolds said, sipping a venti caramel...

Small Town Officials Approve 8th Dollar General, Say ‘We’re Just Gonna Keep Going’

Residents of Pine Hollow, Oregon, barely had time to recover from the ribbon-cutting of their 7th Dollar General before town officials announced the construction of store #8—directly across the street. The decision, described by Mayor Tom Wilkins as “inevitable,” was met with mixed reactions,...

Tesla Dealerships Now Patrolled by Robot Dogs That Breathe Fire

In a bold and completely normal security upgrade, Tesla has officially deployed fire-breathing robot dogs to patrol its dealerships nationwide. The flamethrower-equipped quadrupeds, affectionately dubbed "CyberHounds," have already proven to be highly effective at deterring crime, unwanted...

For Just $1,200, Couple Gets Exclusive Close-Up of Two Giants’ Backs for Entire Concert

PORTLAND, OR — Local couple Brian and Jessica Holloway were overjoyed to snag floor tickets to see their favorite band live, dropping a casual $1,200 for what they expected to be a magical night of music, love, and unforgettable memories. Instead, they spent the entire concert staring at the backs...
TikTok is Live Again, and They’re Thanking Trump for It

TikTok is Live Again, and They’re Thanking Trump for It

TikTok had a dramatic weekend, but it’s back, folks! After hitting the pause button Saturday night, the app announced it’s restoring service to U.S. users because — wait for it — Donald Trump gave the green light. Yep, you heard that right. Apparently, TikTok's fate...

King Tide on Oregon Coast Claims the Life of Happy Valley Man

King Tide on Oregon Coast Claims the Life of Happy Valley Man

According to a story in The Oregonian, an Oregon man tragically lost his life near Depoe Bay on Wednesday after being swept out to sea by a wave during an unusually high tide, known as a "king tide," police reported. This marks the second fatality in Oregon linked to...

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