CORVALLIS, OR — In what housing experts are calling “a troubling but financially sound decision,” a 20-year-old college student has reportedly moved into a construction-site porta-potty near campus after calculating that it was still significantly cheaper than renting a one-bedroom apartment in Corvallis.
“I ran the numbers,” said sophomore marketing major Dylan H., adjusting a camping lantern hanging from a plastic hook inside the blue structure. “Even if you factor in emotional damage and the occasional biohazard situation, I’m still saving like $1,200 a month.”
According to Dylan, average rent for a modest one-bedroom near campus now hovers somewhere between “are you kidding me” and “I guess I’ll just drop out.” After touring several units described as “cozy” and “vintage” — Oregon landlord code for small and from 1974 — he began exploring alternative housing options.
“I looked at micro-apartments. I looked at splitting a two-bedroom with four guys. I briefly considered becoming a river guide just so I could live in a van,” he said. “But then I noticed the construction site across from campus had 24-hour access and surprisingly good ventilation.”
Witnesses say Dylan moved in last week after bringing a sleeping bag, a battery-powered fan, and what he described as “a positive attitude.”
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Construction workers reportedly became suspicious when they noticed a throw rug, a houseplant, and a small “Live, Laugh, Flush” sign inside one of the units.
“At first we thought someone was pranking us,” said foreman Rick B. “But then we saw he had installed shelves. That’s when we realized this kid wasn’t visiting. He had a mailing address.”
Dylan insists the accommodations are “not that bad.”
“It’s technically detached housing,” he explained. “Open floor plan. Minimalist design. Zero property taxes. Honestly, it’s the most affordable studio within walking distance of campus.”
When asked about plumbing, Dylan paused.
“Look, no apartment in Corvallis is perfect,” he said. “You pick your battles.”
Local housing advocates say the story highlights the ongoing affordability crisis across Oregon, where rents have climbed faster than most students’ financial aid packages. In some cities, average rent has reportedly increased so quickly that Zillow now lists units under “fantasy.”
“This is obviously satire,” said one local official, nervously. “But also… not entirely.”
Neighbors say Dylan has become something of a legend among students struggling to make ends meet.
“Honestly? Respect,” said fellow student Maya T. “My landlord just raised rent again and said it was because of ‘market trends.’ I might grab the porta-potty next to his.”
In response to growing demand, the construction company briefly considered adding a “luxury model” with hand sanitizer included, but scrapped the idea after calculating it would cost roughly the same as a two-bedroom in Bend.
As of Friday, Dylan confirmed he has no immediate plans to move.
“I finally found something in my budget,” he said. “And the best part? No HOA.”
At press time, a Portland real estate investor was reportedly seen measuring the unit and describing it as “a rare blue standalone with strong cash-flow potential.”
