SALEM, OR — Local sources confirmed Tuesday that a Salem man died peacefully in his seat at the Oregon DMV, his skeleton still patiently waiting for its number to be called.
Witnesses said the man, who had been waiting for more than six hours, quietly expired sometime between ticket numbers B42 and B43, slumping into his chair while still clutching his phone. DMV staff, however, insisted on maintaining procedure.
“Look, he may have passed on, but until B47 is displayed on the screen, we can’t serve him,” explained DMV spokesperson Karen Dillinger, motioning to the glowing red digital counter. “Whether you’re alive, dead, or somewhere in between, everyone waits their turn. That’s state law.”
Other customers expressed little surprise at the incident. “Honestly, going peacefully in your chair beats making it all the way to the counter just to find out you brought the wrong form,” said Eugene resident Mark Simmons. “In a way, he got the better deal.”
At press time, DMV employees had repositioned the skeleton upright in the waiting area to “preserve the orderly flow of the line,” where it reportedly remained ahead of 29 living customers.
