PORTLAND, OR — As summer 2025 looms and the city braces for another round of protests, drum circles, and Instagram activism, Portland businesses are staying ahead of the chaos with this year’s hottest trend: custom floral plywood.
Sprouting across downtown like a well-meaning rash, these hand-painted panels feature elegant blooms in soft pastels—designed not just to say “we care,” but also “please don’t throw a rock through this.”
“We really wanted to protect our windows and the vibe,” said Juniper Holloway, co-owner of Wildfang & Whimsy, a local boutique specializing in ethically sourced irony. “These boards let people know we support every cause, as long as it doesn’t involve broken glass and canceled deliveries.”
City officials have endorsed the aesthetic as part of their new “Creative Urban Resilience” initiative, which encourages businesses to remain boarded-up, but make it look intentional. “It’s public safety meets seasonal decor,” said Commissioner Fern Granger. “Honestly, it’s never been a better time to monetize civic unrest.”
Shoppers have responded positively. “It’s like walking through an outdoor art gallery that also quietly reminds you civilization is unraveling,” said one local sipping a lavender oat milk latte, absolutely not from Starbucks.
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The floral plywood collection is expected to stay up until fall—or until the next wave of protests gives way to the annual Portland tradition of flooding and mild looting.
