Creswell, OR — In what mental health experts are calling “a minor miracle” and “the emotional equivalent of unclenching your jaw,” local man Kyle Benson’s depression was officially downgraded from crippling to merely moody following an unprecedented full day of sunshine in Stayton, Oregon.
The 34-year-old man, who hadn’t seen his own shadow since October and assumed the sun had simply moved to California for good, reportedly squinted skyward Tuesday morning and muttered, “What the hell is that? Is that… hope?”
Bystanders report Kyle then went on a mild productivity spree, which included making a to-do list he may or may not ever look at again, lightly stretching in his driveway, and aggressively thinking about starting a garden.
“I don’t want to get carried away,” Kyle told reporters. “I’m still existentially exhausted, emotionally inconsistent, and deeply distrustful of happiness… but I did consider taking a walk. Without headphones.”
Kyle’s neighbors were quick to notice the shift in his vibe.
“He walked outside with a cup of coffee and didn’t immediately sigh like he carries the weight of humanity on his shoulders,” said neighbor Carla Jensen. “It was… unsettling.”
Mental health professionals caution that while this uptick is promising, it’s best not to overwhelm individuals like Kyle too quickly. “We don’t recommend direct eye contact with the sun,” said local therapist Dr. Lana Merton. “Or optimism before April.”
Sources confirmed Kyle spent the afternoon sitting on his porch, eyes closed, face tilted toward the sun like a confused salamander, while muttering things like, “Maybe I’ll open the blinds this week,” and “What if I am okay?”
At press time, Kyle was seen standing in the grocery store produce section smelling a lemon and whispering, “Is this what happiness feels like?” before buying six zucchinis and no plan.
