EUGENE, OR — Local dad Kyle Hendershot will celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow with a heartfelt gesture that begins with waffles and ends with walls shaking. “I just want to show my appreciation,” says Kyle, who reportedly plans to wake his wife Melissa with flowers,...

Look, I know we’re all supposed to be “maturing” as a city or “de-escalating tactics” or whatever Mayor-Of-The-Month is tweeting now, but I’m starting to feel like Portland’s really lost its spark—literally. I walked downtown yesterday and didn’t see a single dumpster...

VATICAN CITY — In a historic and deeply confusing moment for the Catholic Church, newly appointed Pope Robert I — the first American pope in history — made his debut Wednesday morning atop the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica wearing a beige cowboy hat and a soft...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between India and Pakistan escalated into open conflict this week, something miraculous happened in the United States: millions of Americans experienced their first peaceful morning without a single scam call about their car’s extended...

EUGENE, OR — A frantic search for a local feline came to a mellow conclusion Thursday afternoon after “Mittens,” a 3-year-old tabby, was located at a nearby house party, absolutely blitzed and sprawled across a bean bag chair in a dense fog of incense and weed smoke....

BEDMINSTER, NJ — In a bold move to “bring back law, order, and Geoffrey the Giraffe,” former President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will personally oversee the reopening of defunct toy store chain Toys “R” Us — this time as a maximum security prison...