News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

New Final Destination In Theaters, but 90s Kids Still White-Knuckling Steering Wheels Behind Logging Trucks Say “Absolutely Not”

Bend, OR — The long-awaited legacy sequel Final Destination: Bloodlines is now terrifying audiences in theaters nationwide, reigniting a very specific trauma among 90s kids: the paralyzing fear of being pulverized by airborne lumber on the freewa “I haven’t driven behind a log truck since Final...

Dad Knows It’s Time to Let Go, Yet Folds the Boxers and Gently Returns Them to the Drawer

Boring, Oregon – In a quiet act of denial witnessed by absolutely no one, 52-year-old Brian Cutler stood motionless over his laundry basket Monday afternoon, clutching a pair of severely compromised boxers he’s owned since the Bush administration. The boxers, described by family members as “a mesh...

Man Stares Blankly as Wife Introduces 86th Plant This Year

SWEET HOME, OR — Sources confirmed Wednesday that local husband Dave Ellsworth stood motionless and dead-eyed as his wife, Amanda, held up yet another leafy green stranger and announced, “Everyone say hi to Juniper!” It was the 86th time this year. Dave, who hasn’t made direct eye contact with his...

People You Regret Voting For Hold Emergency Session to Dream Up Taxes That Don’t Exist Yet but Probably Should

In a move that perfectly embodies everything you feared after the election but told yourself to “wait and see,” the people you now deeply regret voting for held an emergency meeting today—not to fix potholes, homelessness, or anything remotely useful—but to invent entirely new taxes. The...

Bigfoot Joins Tinder, Women Ditch Their Men After Reading: ‘I Chop Wood and Disappear Like Your Dad’

HOOD RIVER, OR — In what experts are calling the most emotionally devastating swipe in Oregon history, Bigfoot has officially joined Tinder with a bio so powerful it has women across the Pacific Northwest dumping their boyfriends mid-swipe. The bio in question?“I chop wood and disappear like your...
No Tsunami Expected After 6.0 Earthquake Hits Off Oregon Coast

No Tsunami Expected After 6.0 Earthquake Hits Off Oregon Coast

BANDON, Ore. — Oregon’s southern coast experienced a sizable 6.0-magnitude earthquake on Wednesday afternoon. The quake struck at approximately 1:15 p.m., with its epicenter located about 170 miles west of Bandon and 250 miles west-southwest of Salem, according to...

Oregon Woman Reported Missing Located in Multnomah County

Oregon Woman Reported Missing Located in Multnomah County

JOHN DAY – After weeks of worry and searching, missing John Day resident Hannah Pereira has been located in Multnomah County, according to a statement from Grant County Sheriff Todd McKinley. Sheriff McKinley informed our team on October 26th that Pereira was found...

Oregon Realtor Tammy Pitkin Still Missing Two Years After Vanishing

Oregon Realtor Tammy Pitkin Still Missing Two Years After Vanishing

Two years have passed since Tammy Pitkin mysteriously vanished, and her family is still searching for answers. Airaka Laughlin-Bento, Tammy's sister, shared a somber message on the anniversary of her disappearance: “Two years ago today, Tammy was believed to be...

5.0 Magnitude Earthquake Hits Off Oregon Coast

5.0 Magnitude Earthquake Hits Off Oregon Coast

A magnitude 5.0 earthquake struck off the Oregon coast on Thursday evening, according to the United States Geological Survey (USGS). The quake occurred at 4:58 p.m., approximately 75 miles west of Coos Bay. Earthquakes are not uncommon off the Oregon coast, as the...

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