News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Scientists Confirm Oregon Is the Worst Place on Earth in February

A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet sock,” said Dr. Philip Malweather, a local meteorologist...

SAD-Stricken Oregonians Seen Photosynthesizing in Public at First Glimpse of Sun

PORTLAND, OR – As Oregon remains firmly locked in its annual five-month-long “Gray Gloom Death Spiral,” residents are reporting extreme cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with some even exhibiting plant-like behaviors in desperate attempts to absorb any available light. Eyewitnesses claim...

Corey Feldman’s Music in “Goonies 2” to Be Used as a Torture Device for the Bad Guys

In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia of the long-awaited sequel, Feldman’s songs will serve a...

Experts Pretty Sure It’s the End Times, But Scientists Insist It’s Actually Just a Tuesday

WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s just another Tuesday. “We’re seeing all the...

Jerry Garcia’s Ghost Found Running a Portland Dispensary—Still on a Really Long, Strange Trip

PORTLAND, OR — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the local jam band community, customers at a small dispensary in Southeast Portland were stunned to discover that the laid-back, tie-dye-clad man behind the counter isn’t just a Jerry Garcia lookalike—he might actually be Jerry...
Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Major Flooding Closes HWY 101 South of Seaside, Oregon

Hey there, fellow Oregonians! Just a heads up for anyone planning to hit the road soon – Highway 101 is currently off-limits between Seaside and Cannon Beach Junction. Why, you ask? Well, we're dealing with some serious flooding here, thanks to the atmospheric river...

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

Permanent Injunction on Measure 114 Issued by Harney County Judge

In a significant legal development, Harney County's Circuit Court Judge, Robert S. Raschio, recently ruled that Oregon's Measure 114, a gun safety law approved by voters, is unconstitutional. This ruling resulted in a permanent injunction, effectively pausing the...

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

Oregon Announces Free Fishing Right After Turkey Day

In a recent announcement, the Oregon Wildlife and Fisheries Department declared a special opportunity for outdoor enthusiasts in Oregon. Following the Thanksgiving holiday, the state will host complimentary fishing days. From November 24th to 25th, fishing enthusiasts...

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