News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

New Study Finds 97% of Streaming Time Spent Just Scrolling Across 6+ Subscriptions

In a groundbreaking study that surprises absolutely no one, researchers have confirmed that 97% of the average person's time on streaming platforms is spent endlessly scrolling through titles while slowly losing the will to live—despite having more than six active subscriptions. "We expected some...

“Eugene Squirrels Are Straight-Up Trippin’ After Being Fed Psilocybin Mushrooms,” Officials Say

EUGENE, OR — City officials are urging residents to stop feeding psychedelic mushrooms to local squirrels, after what one parks employee described as a “full-blown squirrel consciousness shift” unfolded near the duck pond at Alton Baker Park earlier this week. “We’ve seen a dramatic uptick in...

Weekend BBQ Plans Proceed as Dad Secures Down Payment on Ribeyes

SWEET HOME, OR — After weeks of intense financial planning and one extremely awkward meeting with a steak loan officer, local dad Ron Beckett has officially secured a down payment on two USDA Choice ribeye steaks—just in time for his long-awaited weekend BBQ. “We had to move some things around,”...

Parents Sit Teen Down for “American Dream Talk,” Gently Explain He’ll Be Renting a Carpeted Garage Corner for $2,400

Salem, Oregon — In a moving display of parental love mixed with economic nihilism, local couple Doug and Melissa Jenkins sat their 17-year-old son Caleb down Tuesday night for what they solemnly called “The American Dream Talk”—a beloved Jenkins family tradition in which hopes are dashed in...

That Methy Neighbor Wearing Headlamp at 2:30AM Is Just One Bolt Away From Wrapping It Up

SPRINGFIELD, OR — Residents of a quiet suburban street were once again reassured by the familiar clanking of socket wrenches and muttered profanity echoing through the neighborhood as that really cool methy neighbor resumed work on his eternally disassembled Honda Civic at exactly 2:30AM. Armed...
Deputies Rescue Family of Five Stranded on the Willamette River

Deputies Rescue Family of Five Stranded on the Willamette River

As reported by KGW, a family found themselves in a perilous situation after one of their inflatable rafts deflated while they were floating near Corvallis. On Monday, the family was navigating the Willamette River on two inflatable rafts tied together when they...

Oregon Under Statewide Smog and Smoke Advisories

Oregon Under Statewide Smog and Smoke Advisories

As reported by the Oregon Capital Chronicle, smoke and smog are severely impacting much of Oregon's air quality, state officials announced on Wednesday. By mid-day, the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) had issued an air advisory for 20 of Oregon’s 36...

Oregon’s Wildfires Are the Top Priority in the Nation

Oregon’s Wildfires Are the Top Priority in the Nation

With 38 significant, uncontrolled wildfires raging across 838,908 acres in Oregon and Washington, the Northwest region has become the highest firefighting priority in the United States. Oregon bears the brunt of this devastation, with 91.5% of the total burning...

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