PORTLAND, OR — In a bold move to finally escape his parents' basement and experience the magic of paying $2,100 a month for 380 square feet of “industrial charm,” local man Kyle Dennison has successfully sold one of his kidneys to secure a studio apartment in...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
Portland Unveils Tonya Harding Statue in Pioneer Courthouse Square
PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking but deeply on-brand move, Portland officials have unveiled a towering bronze statue of Tonya Harding in the heart of Pioneer Courthouse Square — a tribute to athleticism, Oregon grit, and the art of “solving problems with a skate in hand...
Day Drive Ruined as Wife Interrupts ‘Free Bird’ Guitar Solo to Bring Up Her Friend’s Divorce Again
SWEET HOME, OREGON — What started as a relaxing weekend drive took a tragic turn Saturday afternoon when local man Derek Mitchell was emotionally ambushed mid-guitar solo during Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.” According to sources inside the vehicle, Derek had just...
Notorious Serial Killer Randy Kraft Linked to 1980 Oregon Cold Case With Help of Forensic Genealogy
Nearly 45 years after a body was discovered along Interstate 5 in Oregon, investigators have finally given a name to the man — and a suspected killer to go with it. The Oregon State Police announced this week that Larry Eugene Parks, a 30-year-old Vietnam veteran, has...
Father to Honor Wife on Mother’s Day by Taking Her to Breakfast, Then Straight to Pound Town
EUGENE, OR — Local dad Kyle Hendershot will celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow with a heartfelt gesture that begins with waffles and ends with walls shaking. “I just want to show my appreciation,” says Kyle, who reportedly plans to wake his wife Melissa with flowers,...
OPINION: If Property Isn’t Being Destroyed, Is It Even a Peaceful Protest?
Look, I know we’re all supposed to be “maturing” as a city or “de-escalating tactics” or whatever Mayor-Of-The-Month is tweeting now, but I’m starting to feel like Portland’s really lost its spark—literally. I walked downtown yesterday and didn’t see a single dumpster...
15 Years After Kyron Horman’s Disappearance, New District Attorney Is Committed To Finding Answers
June 4, 2025, marks the 15th anniversary of the disappearance of Kyron Horman, a 7-year-old boy who vanished from Skyline Elementary School in Northwest Portland, Oregon. Despite extensive investigations, no trace of Kyron has ever been found. Now, Multnomah County's...
Portland Storefronts Debut Floral Plywood Collection Just in Time for Riot Season
PORTLAND, OR — As summer 2025 looms and the city braces for another round of protests, drum circles, and Instagram activism, Portland businesses are staying ahead of the chaos with this year’s hottest trend: custom floral plywood. Sprouting across downtown like a...
First American Pope Wears Cowboy Hat
VATICAN CITY — In a historic and deeply confusing moment for the Catholic Church, newly appointed Pope Robert I — the first American pope in history — made his debut Wednesday morning atop the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica wearing a beige cowboy hat and a soft...
India-Pakistan Conflict Accidently Solves America’s Spam Call Epidemic
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between India and Pakistan escalated into open conflict this week, something miraculous happened in the United States: millions of Americans experienced their first peaceful morning without a single scam call about their car’s extended...
Pacific Power: “We Understand You’re Struggling—That’s Why We’re Raising Rates Again”
SALEM, OR — In a heartfelt press release delivered with the emotional depth of a dropped toaster, Pacific Power announced its latest rate increase this week, citing "deep empathy" for the financial hardship many Oregonians are facing. “We know times are tough,” said...
Missing Eugene Cat Allegedly Just Blazed Out of His Mind at the Neighbors’ Place
EUGENE, OR — A frantic search for a local feline came to a mellow conclusion Thursday afternoon after “Mittens,” a 3-year-old tabby, was located at a nearby house party, absolutely blitzed and sprawled across a bean bag chair in a dense fog of incense and weed smoke....