PORTLAND, Ore. — A routine night patrol over Portland skies turned dangerous last weekend when a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) helicopter was struck by a laser beam, temporarily threatening the safety of the pilot and crew. Federal officials say the laser...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
National Guard to Roll Into Portland Next Week, Locals Argue Over Who Gets to Tag Armored Vehicles First
PORTLAND, OR — With 166 Oregon National Guard members preparing to deploy to Portland next week, locals have already begun squabbling over who will earn the honor of being the first to spray-paint “ACAB” on the side of an armored vehicle. The dispute reportedly broke...
City of Portland Absolutely Obliterated as Urban War Escalates
It’s been a long time coming. After years of jokes about endless protests, artisanal chaos, and bridges that seem to exist just to get spray-painted, Portland has finally fulfilled every wild exaggeration by spontaneously detonating into a massive fireball. The city...
Portland Leaders Float Plan To Convert ICE Building Into Airbnb With ‘Luxury Detention Suites’
PORTLAND, OR — City officials are floating a bold new proposal to convert Portland’s controversial Immigration and Customs Enforcement building into an Airbnb, touting it as a potential goldmine of “luxury detention suites” and ironic tourist appeal. Under the plan,...
Trump Sends Troops to Portland, Still No Word If Epstein Files Are Hidden in ICE Basement
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling “Operation Basement Sweep,” President Trump doubled down on his commitment to locate the alleged Epstein files, personally insisting they are buried somewhere beneath Portland’s ICE facility. The same president who just...
Trump Announces Plan to Send Troops to Portland, Promises ‘Full Force if Necessary’
President Donald Trump said Saturday he has ordered Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to deploy U.S. military forces to Portland, declaring on Truth Social that he was prepared to authorize the use of “full force” against unrest in the city. Trump wrote that the move...
Multnomah Falls Becomes First Pay-Per-View Waterfall as Oregon Finds New Way to Monetize Nature
If it feels like Oregon is charging you for the very air you breathe, that’s because they probably just haven’t figured out how to meter it yet. After the freshly announced $10 parking fee at Vista House, Oregon State Parks has unveiled its boldest plan yet: slapping...
This Is Not Satire: Portland Rolls Out $100 Fines for Sidewalk Camping in November
PORTLAND, Ore. In news that sounds like a rejected Onion headline but is unfortunately very real, Portland Mayor Keith Wilson has announced the city will once again begin enforcing its camping ban starting Nov. 1. Yes, the same ban that originally went into effect in...
Oregon State Parks Slaps $10 Parking Fee on Vista House as Tax Hikes Keep Rolling In
If it feels like Oregon is inventing new ways to get into your wallet every week, you’re not imagining things. Hot on the heels of Gov. Tina Kotek’s push for what many are calling the largest tax increase in Oregon history, Oregon State Parks just announced yet...
Once You Try These Apple Cider Donuts In Oregon, You’ll Be Hooked For Life
As September rolls into October and the leaves start showing off their golden glow, there’s no better way to celebrate the season than with a trip to Red Berry Barn in Sherwood. Their annual Fall Harvest Festival (September 20 – October 31, 2025) is back, and it’s...
Report: Some People Are Dying
In what experts are calling “technically not new, but still sort of a bummer,” reports are surfacing that some people, in fact, are dying. The revelation has stunned absolutely no one, yet continues to be treated as breaking news by local relatives who “can’t believe...
Eugene Federal Building Hosts Fall’s Most Exclusive Umbrella Fashion Week
EUGENE, Ore. — Fall fashion week found an unlikely stage Tuesday night as the Eugene Federal Building transformed into the runway for a daring new streetwear collection featuring oversized black umbrellas, tactical accents, and bold percussion on government-issued...