News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Experts Confirm Only Chance of National Unity Is If Asteroid Obliterates Planet

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sobering report released Thursday, leading political scientists confirmed that the only remaining path toward national unity would require a planet-destroying asteroid to obliterate all life on Earth. “After analyzing decades of data, partisan divides, and over 47 million...

Senator Jeff Merkley Pledges 13th Term in 2064 at Age 108, Promises to Outlive Every Republican

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vowing to “finish what he started back when Herbert Hoover was in short pants,” Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley announced Thursday that he will seek a 13th term in 2064 at the age of 108, confidently declaring his intention to outlive every remaining member of the Republican Party....

Oregon Families Sue Schools for Allowing Biological Males in Girls’ Sports

Three Oregon high school athletes and their families have filed a federal lawsuit against the state and several school districts over policies that allow transgender athletes—biological males—to compete in girls’ sports. The lawsuit, filed July 7 in U.S. District Court in Portland, names Gov. Tina...

Shocking Audit Reveals Oregon Wasting Millions, Who Could Have Guessed?

SALEM, Ore. — In a revelation that surprised absolutely no one who’s ever watched Oregon’s government at work, as reported by FOX 12 a new state audit has confirmed that the Beaver State might be wasting millions of taxpayer dollars thanks to a contract system that’s about as organized as a...

REPORT: Everything’s Fine, Experts Assure Public This Is All Totally Normal

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As grocery prices soar, infrastructure crumbles, artificial intelligence begins writing its own manifestos, and World War 3 quietly warms up in the background, officials are reassuring Americans there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. “Relax, babe—we’ve totally got this,”...
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