Humor

Local woman Jessica Reynolds is beaming with pride after successfully keeping her car’s “Check Engine” light on for an impressive six years, setting what experts are calling a “remarkable new record in automotive neglect.” “I don’t even see it anymore,” Reynolds said, sipping a venti caramel...

Residents of Pine Hollow, Oregon, barely had time to recover from the ribbon-cutting of their 7th Dollar General before town officials announced the construction of store #8—directly across the street. The decision, described by Mayor Tom Wilkins as “inevitable,” was met with mixed reactions,...

In a bold and completely normal security upgrade, Tesla has officially deployed fire-breathing robot dogs to patrol its dealerships nationwide. The flamethrower-equipped quadrupeds, affectionately dubbed "CyberHounds," have already proven to be highly effective at deterring crime, unwanted...

PORTLAND, OR — Local couple Brian and Jessica Holloway were overjoyed to snag floor tickets to see their favorite band live, dropping a casual $1,200 for what they expected to be a magical night of music, love, and unforgettable memories. Instead, they spent the entire concert staring at the backs...

Oregon meteorologists have officially given up. After a week that included sunshine, rain, and snow—sometimes all in the same afternoon—local weather forecasters admitted they are now just blindly throwing darts at a weather map and hoping for the best. “Look, we tried,” said That Oregon Life's...