CORVALLIS, OR — In a groundbreaking study that absolutely no one asked for, researchers confirmed Tuesday that the average Oregonian owns approximately 47 reusable grocery bags, yet continues to stand at checkout saying, “Oh… I forgot them,” before reluctantly...
CORVALLIS, OR — In what housing experts are calling “a troubling but financially sound decision,” a 20-year-old college student has reportedly moved into a construction-site porta-potty near campus after calculating that it was still significantly cheaper than renting...
There are Oregon towns you pass through.There are Oregon towns you stay in for a bit.And then there are Oregon towns that quietly enroll you in something permanent. Nobody ever announces they’re staying forever. They say things like “just for now,” or “until I figure...
CANNON BEACH, OR — Witnesses confirmed Tuesday that a local seagull brazenly stole several French fries from an unattended basket while maintaining prolonged, unblinking eye contact with the victim, clearly signaling that the theft was both intentional and...
SALEM, OR — Standing beneath a banner reading “Progress Takes Time (And Money)”, Oregon leaders this week announced a bold new plan to address homelessness, housing affordability, addiction, and public safety by requesting another $500 billion to retry the same...
Every town has a legend. Some have haunted bridges. Others have mysterious lights in the woods. Bend, naturally, has a rock in a parking lot that eats cars for sport. Locals call him B.O.B.Short for Big Obvious Boulder (and yes, the irony is part of the experience)....
PORTLAND, OR — As Portland moves deeper into 2026, experts say the city has reached a critical moment: how to allow white people to continue appearing white while dramatically reducing the harm associated with it. According to local activists, DEI consultants, and at...
PORTLAND, OR — City leaders and local news outlets confirmed this week that Portland’s downtown is officially “back,” citing increased foot traffic, renewed holiday shopping interest, and a thriving public yoga scene that appears to require no studios, memberships, or...
EUGENE, OR — Despite being nearly three weeks behind on rent and actively refusing to open his banking app, local man Aaron L., 34, confirmed Tuesday that stopping by a tiny, overpriced hippie grocery store was “exactly what he needed right now.” “I’ve just been under...
PORTLAND, OR — City officials moved quickly Monday to clarify that the recent release of human waste into the Willamette River is not the same poop residents routinely dodge on downtown sidewalks, stressing that while the two may appear similar, smell similar, and...
PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful departure from...
BEND, OR — Bend has once again topped the charts as the #1 relocation destination for Californians who are baffled by local hostility, according to a new report from the National Association of People Who Turned One Bedroom Condos Into Retirement Plans. Researchers...