Humor

Portland To Reinstall Historic Elk Fountain, Promises This Time It Will Only Be Vandalized Respectfully

After nearly six long years in protective custody, emotional counseling, and what sources describe as “a very intensive bronze detox program,” Portland’s beloved elk statue is finally returning to downtown on April 12, 2026. City officials, along with the Portland Parks Foundation, confirmed the...

Portland Erects Massive Tina Kotek Statue to Recognize Her ‘Impressive Rise’ to Sixth Most Unpopular Governor in America

A towering new monument debuted this week in Portland’s Kenton neighborhood, and city leaders say it commemorates one of Oregon’s most “remarkable recent achievements.” Standing a proud 31 feet tall in the town square, the statue honors Governor Tina Kotek’s impressive climb into the national...

Oregon Lawmakers Propose Monthly $25.99 Streaming Service To Access State’s Outdoor Spaces

SALEM, OR — In what officials are calling a “modern solution to the outdoor experience,” Oregon lawmakers this week unveiled a proposal to introduce a convenient $25.99 monthly subscription allowing residents to access the state’s forests, trails, rivers, and scenic viewpoints. The new program,...

Alarming Study Shows Average Oregonian Owns 47 Reusable Grocery Bags and Still Somehow Pays for Another One Anyway

CORVALLIS, OR — In a groundbreaking study that absolutely no one asked for, researchers confirmed Tuesday that the average Oregonian owns approximately 47 reusable grocery bags, yet continues to stand at checkout saying, “Oh… I forgot them,” before reluctantly agreeing to pay for another one. The...

Corvallis Student Claims Living In A Construction Site Porta Potty Is “Cheaper Than Rent”

CORVALLIS, OR — In what housing experts are calling “a troubling but financially sound decision,” a 20-year-old college student has reportedly moved into a construction-site porta-potty near campus after calculating that it was still significantly cheaper than renting a one-bedroom apartment in...
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