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Portland Man on Meth Breaks Into Business, Gets Shot, Then Sues for $10 Million and Gets Nothing
A bizarre Portland case involving an early-morning break-in, a business owner jolted awake inside his own building, a pair of bolt cutters, three gunshots, and a $10 million lawsuit has finally reached its conclusion, and it…
19 Reasons You Should Definitely Move To Oregon (Satire)
Thinking about moving to Oregon? Excellent decision. Ignore the rain, housing prices, wildfire smoke, traffic, taxes, and enormous earthquake fault lurking offshore. Those aren't problems. They're amenities. Here are 19 reasons you should absolutely pack up…
Shirtless Hiker Holds Glorious Pose For Five Minutes So Nobody Mistakes The Majestic Mountain For The Main Attraction
MOUNT HOOD NATIONAL FOREST, Ore. — Pausing at a sweeping overlook surrounded by snowcapped peaks, old-growth forest, and a vast mountain valley, local hiker Brandon Mercer reportedly removed his shirt and struck a glorious hands-on-hips pose…
Local Deer Photographs Goofy Human Taking 47th Identical Selfie Of The Morning
CANNON BEACH, Ore. — A local black-tailed deer captured a remarkable photograph Saturday morning of an Oregon Coast visitor taking what witnesses confirmed was her 47th nearly identical selfie in front of Haystack Rock. The deer,…
Kotek Announces Plan To Unite Oregon This Fourth Of July By Posting Another Divisive Facebook Rant About Trump
SALEM, OR — As Oregonians celebrate the Fourth of July today with fireworks, family barbecues, flags, parades, and the annual tradition of pretending everyone can get along for at least one afternoon, Governor Tina Kotek is…
Family’s Wholesome Weekend Plans To Unplug At Lake Cabin Ruined By Lack Of WiFi
What was supposed to be a wholesome family plan to unplug at a lake cabin quickly collapsed into emotional devastation after the Miller family discovered the getaway they had been romanticizing for weeks did, in fact,…
Oregon State Capitol Unveils Kate Brown Portrait In Iconic COVID Christmas Snow Globe Mask
SALEM, Ore. — Oregon officials gathered at the State Capitol Monday for the unveiling of former Governor Kate Brown's official portrait, revealing what many historians now consider the most recognizable symbol of Oregon's COVID era: the…