PORTLAND, OR — Ahead of Independence Day, Portland Mayor Keith Wilson reminded residents Monday that while waving the American flag on the 4th of July is technically still legal, those who choose to do so should immediately issue a sincere apology for “the harm caused by aggressive displays of patriotism.”
“If you absolutely must wave the American flag, we ask that you reflect on the impact it may have on your neighbors and offer a heartfelt apology as soon as possible,” Wilson said while unveiling the city’s new Patriotism Recovery Initiative. “We’re not banning flags—yet—but we are encouraging all Portlanders to approach Independence Day with humility and a deep sense of regret.”
City Hall also announced the installation of over 50 “Apology Stations” across Portland where remorseful citizens can record public statements acknowledging the discomfort their flag-waving may have caused. The stations will feature pre-written scripts such as, “I’m sorry for my reckless display of national pride,” and “I recognize my stars-and-stripes behavior was problematic.”
“If you prefer not to apologize in person, we’re offering a QR code for a digital ‘Patriotism Amends Form,’” the mayor’s office said in a statement.
Local activist groups applauded the move, with one spokesperson noting, “The American flag is a symbol of oppression, barbecues, and loud fireworks. Mayor Wilson’s apology program is a step toward healing.”
At press time, the mayor was reportedly considering replacing all city-issued flags with calming sage green banners to avoid “visual microaggressions” during the holiday weekend.
