PORTLAND, OR — In a development surprising no one, another guy in the Pacific Northwest has reportedly gotten a tattoo of a forest on his forearm.
Witnesses say the man, identified only as “Kyle,” emerged from a local tattoo studio Tuesday afternoon sporting a tasteful arrangement of silhouetted pine trees stretching from his wrist to elbow. The design, commonly seen on craft brewery bartenders and Subaru Outback owners, is believed to symbolize “a deep connection to nature” or possibly “a vague desire to move to Bend someday.”
“I just wanted something that reflects who I am,” Kyle told reporters, adjusting the brim of his five-panel hat. “I’m all about the outdoors. Nature is a huge part of me… I mean, I go on at least one moderate hike every summer.”
Friends say they weren’t shocked by Kyle’s decision. “It was only a matter of time,” said roommate Amber, sipping a locally roasted oat milk latte. “Last month he bought a $300 Patagonia fleece and started talking about ‘forest therapy.’ We all knew this was next.”
Sources confirmed that upon seeing the tattoo, three nearby men with beards and cuffed jeans nodded in quiet approval. “It’s like a rite of passage around here,” said one, who admitted he also has the same tattoo but with “a few birds for individuality.”
Tattoo artists in the region report they’re booked solid for the next six months with similar requests. “It’s our bread and butter,” said local tattooist Raven Sky. “If you live in the Northwest and don’t have a tree tattoo yet, do you even compost?”
At press time, Kyle was reportedly Googling flights to Iceland and considering adding a tiny crescent moon above the treeline “to make it stand out.”
