PORTLAND, OR — The search for 34-year-old Kevin Michaels, who was last seen attempting to merge onto I-205 during rush hour, continues as family and friends hold out hope for his safe return.
Kevin left his Southeast Portland home last Tuesday morning, reportedly en route to his office in Vancouver, Washington. According to eyewitness accounts, he was last spotted on the Johnson Creek Blvd on-ramp, turn signal blinking, attempting to find an opening in the unyielding river of aggressive commuters.
“He was optimistic about merging,” said his wife, Laura Michaels. “That was his second mistake. The first was thinking he’d make it to work on time.”
Dashcam footage from another vehicle shows Kevin’s Subaru Outback idling in what experts call the “merge purgatory” zone—too far forward to turn back, yet unable to advance due to a relentless line of Teslas, lifted Tacomas, and the occasional minivan that speeds up out of sheer spite.
Search and rescue efforts have been slow, hampered by traffic conditions that have remained gridlocked since the Roosevelt administration. “We tried to reach the last known location,” said Portland Traffic Incident Coordinator Mike Reynolds, “but we got stuck on the Ross Island Bridge and had to turn back for gas.”
The case has sparked widespread concern among local commuters, with some leaving flowers and lattes at the Johnson Creek Blvd on-ramp in Kevin’s honor. Others say his disappearance serves as a grim reminder of the risks involved in attempting to merge in Portland.
“Blinker use is seen as a sign of weakness,” said traffic expert Brenda Holt. “Once you signal, you become prey.”
Authorities have received reports of a disoriented man spotted near Clackamas, wandering along the shoulder, whispering “just one car length… that’s all I needed.” Officials are working to confirm if the individual is Kevin.
Until then, his family remains hopeful but realistic. “At this point, we just want closure,” Laura said, holding back tears. “If we can’t get Kevin back, at least tell us if he made it into the lane.”
Kevin’s case joins a growing list of Portland commuters lost to traffic, including the Hawthorne Bridge Lane Change Incident of 2018 and the I-5 Exit 302B Eternal Loop Disaster of 2021.
If you have any information on Kevin’s whereabouts, please contact authorities or send a message via Waze, as it may still be rerouting.
