by Tyler James | Feb 23, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
MORRISON, OR – Local man Jared Thompson, 34, was forced to hit the pause button for the fifteenth time last night after his wife, Emily Thompson, 32, insisted on providing a running commentary for a plot twist he hadn’t actually reached yet. The couple had decided to...
by Tyler James | Feb 22, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
A groundbreaking new study from the Oregon Institute of Unwanted Visuals has confirmed what most hot springs visitors already suspected: a shocking 97% of nudists have exactly the kind of body no one, under any circumstances, wants to see unclothed. The study, which...
by Tyler James | Feb 22, 2025 | News, Satire
Cougars across Oregon are once again sounding the alarm as yet another human has wandered deep into the wilderness, completely unprepared and blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Local mountain lions, who have spent generations fine-tuning their survival...
by Tyler James | Feb 21, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Oregon has once again led the way in groundbreaking criminal justice reform by introducing its newest and toughest sentencing policy yet: Naughty Time. Under this bold initiative, criminals will no longer be subjected to outdated punishments like jail time or parole....
by Tyler James | Feb 21, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
A MODERATELY DIFFICULT TRAIL, SOMEWHERE—What was supposed to be a refreshing morning hike quickly turned into a full-scale melodrama Saturday after local man Todd Reynolds, 44, dramatically collapsed onto a sunbaked rock just three minutes into the trail, breathlessly...
by Tyler James | Feb 20, 2025 | Entertainment, Events, News
Come and celebrate the biggest party on the Oregon Coast at the Newport Seafood & Wine Festival this winter! For 48 years, this iconic event has brought together locals and visitors alike to savor the best seafood and finest wines the region has to offer. Sample...
by Tyler James | Feb 20, 2025 | News
As reported by OPB, over the past five years, wildfires have scorched more than 36 million acres of land across the United States. But the destruction extends far beyond the burn zones—wildfire smoke travels hundreds, sometimes thousands, of miles, impacting millions...
by Tyler James | Feb 20, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Your City, USA — In a shocking turn of events that directly contradicts everything seen on television and social media, a local grocery store was reportedly filled with ordinary people shopping peacefully, with zero political arguments, ideological confrontations, or...
by Tyler James | Feb 19, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
A man in downtown Portland, spotted waving a machete in the air and passionately arguing with a lamppost, appears to be in dire need of a hug, according to multiple witnesses who observed the situation with a mix of concern and understanding. "He wasn't really...
by Tyler James | Feb 19, 2025 | Humor, News
A groundbreaking study from the University of Oregon has confirmed what longtime residents have long suspected: Oregon is officially the worst place on Earth to exist during the month of February. “It’s essentially like living inside a wet sock,” said Dr. Philip...
