by Tyler James | Mar 29, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
SALEM, OR — A routine grocery run at the WinCo Foods off Commercial Street in Salem turned into a full-blown auditory crisis Friday morning after a local child—described by witnesses as "small but emotionally explosive"—unleashed a battle cry somewhere between a...
by Tyler James | Mar 29, 2025 | News
A statewide ban on cell phones in Oregon’s K-12 classrooms could soon be on the books, following years of discussion and rising concern over the impact of personal devices on student learning and well-being. On Wednesday, March 26, the House Committee on Education...
by Tyler James | Mar 25, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In a stunning turn of events Tuesday evening, household cat Mr. Biscuits has officially confirmed that he licked the lasagna, and, according to inside sources, would “do it again in a heartbeat.” The lasagna, a bubbling tray of cheesy perfection prepared by...
by Tyler James | Mar 25, 2025 | News, Weather
A rare and potentially dangerous weather event is expected to impact parts of Oregon and the broader Pacific Northwest on Wednesday, with the possibility of large hail, damaging winds, and even isolated tornadoes—an unusual combination for the region. The National...
by Tyler James | Mar 24, 2025 | Adventures, Entertainment, Events, Oregon Coast, Travel
If you're looking for the perfect spring break activity on the Oregon Coast, this is it. Sun, sea air, coastal charm—and the nostalgic click-clack of a historic train. The Spring Break Excursion aboard the Oregon Coast Scenic Railroad is back for 2025, and it's a...
by Tyler James | Mar 23, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In a historic achievement for institutional apathy, St. Helens High School has been awarded the coveted Gold Medal in Predator Enablement, a rare honor bestowed upon educational institutions demonstrating "exceptional consistency in ignoring red flags, downplaying...
by Tyler James | Mar 22, 2025 | Humor, News
PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking roadside event that eyewitnesses are describing as “equal parts beautiful and deeply upsetting,” a vintage RV parked outside a shuttered Hollywood Video reportedly gave birth to a fully grown, lifted pickup truck Tuesday afternoon. “I just...
by Tyler James | Mar 22, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
PORTLAND, OR — In a historic moment of questionable achievement, the City of Portland has officially become the first metropolitan area in the United States to reach 100% graffiti saturation, prompting local street artists to reluctantly hang up their spray cans and...
by Tyler James | Mar 21, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In the vast, unforgiving wasteland of America’s highways—where fast food wrappers dance in the wind and gas station bathrooms look like crime scenes—one portable restroom has risen above the filth to become a beacon of hope. Perched in front of a Love’s Travel Stop,...
by Tyler James | Mar 21, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
MONROE, OR — In the early hours of Wednesday morning, local woman Emily Patterson reportedly launched what experts are calling a "precision-targeted rib jab" into the soft flank of her peacefully unconscious husband, Greg, in a final, desperate effort to end what has...
