by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News, Satire
ESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak seasonal confidence Thursday afternoon after purchasing a pair of $24.99 camo cargo shorts from the Target clearance rack. Witnesses say...
by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News, Satire
“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address persistent educational challenges, Oregon's education officials have announced a new graduation requirement: high school seniors must now recite the alphabet to...
by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News
A rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County, Oregon — a statistical anomaly that has local health officials scrambling for answers. As reported by Live Science, one case of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD)...
by Tyler James | Apr 20, 2025 | Satire
FLORENCE, OR — A shocking new report released Sunday confirmed what visitors have long suspected: the Sea Lion Caves are, in fact, a little stinky today. Tourists poured into the Oregon Coast landmark hoping for majestic views, unique wildlife encounters, and perhaps...
by Tyler James | Apr 19, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
VATICAN CITY — As Easter Sunday and 4/20 prepare to overlap in a once-in-a-generation holy smokes collision, Pope Francis issued a pastoral message Friday urging members of Stoners for Christ to “celebrate the resurrection with joy, gratitude, and at least a basic...
by Tyler James | Apr 17, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking new report released Thursday, Oregon has officially been named the number one state in America for living in a faded, slightly moldy, sky-blue van down by the river — narrowly beating out Washington thanks to its looser parking rules...
by Tyler James | Apr 17, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
TURNER, OR — Longtime fans of Oregon’s beloved Enchanted Forest theme park are reporting that while the park was “kinda spooky and magical” as children, experiencing it as an adult on mushrooms is an entirely different — and far more intense — journey. “It used to be...
by Tyler James | Apr 16, 2025 | Humor, Newport, Satire
SALEM, OR — As Oregon State Parks prepare to roll out another round of fee hikes for the 2025 camping season, thousands of middle-class Oregon families are reportedly coming to terms with the heartbreaking reality that they can no longer afford to sleep outside like...
by Tyler James | Apr 15, 2025 | News
PORTLAND, OR — In a quiet yet deeply emotional statewide advisory issued Monday morning, Oregonians were lovingly reminded that it has, in fact, been way too damn long since they last watched Stand By Me—the 1986 cinematic treasure filmed right here in the Beaver...
by Tyler James | Apr 15, 2025 | Crime, News
On Mother’s Day 2017, the small Oregon town of Estacada was shattered by a crime so gruesome it seemed ripped from a horror film. Inside the Harvest Market Thriftway, shoppers and employees were left frozen in disbelief as a blood-soaked man walked through the front...
