by Tyler James | Feb 18, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In a bold and completely baffling creative decision, the producers of Goonies 2 have announced that the film’s soundtrack will be composed entirely of Corey Feldman’s music. But rather than being used to enhance the adventure and nostalgia of the long-awaited sequel,...
by Tyler James | Feb 18, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
WORLDWIDE — As mysterious new viruses, natural disasters, and general chaos unfold across the globe, leading experts have announced that they are “fairly certain” this is the beginning of the End Times. Meanwhile, scientists remain adamant that it’s just another...
by Tyler James | Feb 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
PORTLAND, OR — In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the local jam band community, customers at a small dispensary in Southeast Portland were stunned to discover that the laid-back, tie-dye-clad man behind the counter isn’t just a Jerry Garcia lookalike—he...
by Tyler James | Feb 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In what’s being dubbed “the most expensive two words ever spoken,” a local man has launched a GoFundMe after making the rookie mistake of telling his wife to “calm down” during a heated discussion about reorganizing the pantry. “It just slipped out,” the man, now...
by Tyler James | Feb 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
In a nationwide study that absolutely no one asked for, Eugene, Oregon, has taken home the prestigious title of “Most Likely to Smell Like Weed Before 9 AM.” The study, conducted by the National Scent Awareness Coalition (NSAC), found that 87% of residents and...
by Tyler James | Feb 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what might be the most Portland thing ever, local resident and proud Tesla owner Trevor Greenfield made headlines on Saturday after momentarily driving his $60,000 Tesla Model 3 to the "Tesla Takedown" protest outside a Portland dealership—only to...
by Tyler James | Feb 16, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
After a grueling 12-hour road trip filled with endless stretches of highway and way too many gas station hot dogs, Mark and Susan Reynolds were looking forward to a peaceful night’s rest. What they didn’t expect was a “charming vintage experience” that would transport...
by Tyler James | Feb 15, 2025 | Entertainment, Opinion, Pop Culture
It’s official: Warner Bros. is bringing The Goonies 2 to life. Almost 40 years after the original debuted in theaters, fans of the cult classic will see their favorite treasure-hunting misfits return in a sequel. Per Variety on Friday: "Warner Bros. has hired Potsy...
by Tyler James | Feb 14, 2025 | Adventures
Snow, ice, and freezing rain impacted the Willamette Valley but a warm-up by midday Friday is improving conditions. Key Updates: Salem Roads: Main roads are mostly clear but residential streets remain icy. City crews are plowing and sanding primary and secondary...
by Tyler James | Feb 14, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
Newport, Oregon— Local police have proudly unveiled what they believe to be groundbreaking security footage in their ongoing investigation of a robbery suspect. The image, which has been described as "state-of-the-art" by Officer Daniels, features a vaguely...
