by Tyler James | Apr 24, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
OREGON — In yet another crushing blow to dessert lovers and economic optimism, Oregon-based creamery Tillamaybe has officially replaced its iconic 48 oz ice cream tub with what it’s calling a "micro-pint" — a portion so small it legally qualifies as a sample. The...
by Tyler James | Apr 24, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
SALEM, OR — Concerned that the ancient, rugged art of axe throwing may be promoting toxic masculinity, Oregon Democrats have introduced a bold new bill that would ban the practice statewide and replace it with something more emotionally enriching: the Safe Space...
by Tyler James | Apr 24, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
U.S. — In a bold new step to ensure Americans never enjoy anything ever again, candy manufacturer Mars announced that all colorful M&Ms will now be coated in a thick layer of organic kale slime following HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s sweeping ban on...
by Tyler James | Apr 23, 2025 | Humor, News, Satire
EUGENE, OR — A shocking new study released Monday has confirmed what many suspected all along: meth users are now the world’s foremost experts in unattended tool acquisition, also known in some legal circles as “theft.” The study, conducted by researchers who asked to...
by Tyler James | Apr 22, 2025 | News, Satire
SALEM, OR — In a shocking and emotional press conference that rocked the state’s political establishment to its core, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek announced Tuesday that she is gay — again — just moments after announcing the same thing. “I just want to live my truth,”...
by Tyler James | Apr 22, 2025 | News, Satire
CORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for gender-diverse individuals — and with it, implemented a new entry requirement: visitors must now present at least...
by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News, Satire
ESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak seasonal confidence Thursday afternoon after purchasing a pair of $24.99 camo cargo shorts from the Target clearance rack. Witnesses say...
by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News, Satire
“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address persistent educational challenges, Oregon's education officials have announced a new graduation requirement: high school seniors must now recite the alphabet to...
by Tyler James | Apr 21, 2025 | News
A rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County, Oregon — a statistical anomaly that has local health officials scrambling for answers. As reported by Live Science, one case of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD)...
by Tyler James | Apr 20, 2025 | Satire
FLORENCE, OR — A shocking new report released Sunday confirmed what visitors have long suspected: the Sea Lion Caves are, in fact, a little stinky today. Tourists poured into the Oregon Coast landmark hoping for majestic views, unique wildlife encounters, and perhaps...
