SALEM, OR — Standing beneath a banner reading “Progress Takes Time (And Money)”, Oregon leaders this week announced a bold new plan to address homelessness, housing affordability, addiction, and public safety by requesting another $500 billion…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A popular inner-Portland coffee shop announced this week that it will no longer serve customers who cannot clearly articulate something they actively hate, citing a “longstanding cultural mismatch” with people who appear content,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an unusual public health advisory Tuesday warning that prolonged exposure to Portland may result in the sudden, unexplained development of a nose ring, even among…
PORTLAND, OR — As Portland moves deeper into 2026, experts say the city has reached a critical moment: how to allow white people to continue appearing white while dramatically reducing the harm associated with it. According…
PORTLAND, OR — City leaders and local news outlets confirmed this week that Portland’s downtown is officially “back,” citing increased foot traffic, renewed holiday shopping interest, and a thriving public yoga scene that appears to require…
WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OR — City officials issued a blunt but widely appreciated advisory Wednesday morning urging residents to remain indoors after a night of relentless rain, howling wind, and power outages that left much of the…
SALEM, OR — Oregon Governor Tina Kotek issued a stern holiday warning this week, announcing that residents who oppose her latest tax bill should not expect to find Christmas presents under the tree this year, calling…
PORTLAND, OR — City officials moved quickly Monday to clarify that the recent release of human waste into the Willamette River is not the same poop residents routinely dodge on downtown sidewalks, stressing that while the…
PORTLAND, OR — Portland officials confirmed this week that the city has officially replaced its traditional Christmas tree with a large, smooth, abstract green object, describing the new holiday display as “bold,” “inclusive,” and “a meaningful…
BEND, OR — Bend has once again topped the charts as the #1 relocation destination for Californians who are baffled by local hostility, according to a new report from the National Association of People Who Turned…
SALEM, OR — In a move that experts are calling “bold,” “innovative,” and “the most Oregon thing to ever happen,” Governor Tina Kotek announced Monday that traditional Christmas celebrations will be officially replaced statewide with a…
PORTLAND, OR — A Southern California tourist was escorted to the Oregon–California border Tuesday after loudly referring to the Willamette River as the “Will-Uh-Mah-Tee,” a pronunciation so catastrophically off-base that officials classified it as an “Immediate…