PORTLAND, OR — In a city famous for its love of drizzle, gloom, and perfectly damp mornings, three consecutive days of sunshine have sent locals into a full-blown existential crisis. Hundreds of Portlanders gathered downtown on Sunday to demand the immediate return of...
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Portland Renters and Their Cats Must Mask Up 24/7 or Face Eviction
In a move that has sparked both confusion and concern, the City of Portland has implemented a groundbreaking new policy requiring renters to wear masks at all times, even in the privacy of their own apartments, when alone. This decision comes in response to growing...
Experts warn gluten found in meth could be hazardous to your health
PORTLAND, OR — Health experts have today warned that meth found on the streets of Portland has tested positive for gluten, a protein composite normally found in several types of grains, including wheat, spelt, rye, and barley. Action on Gluten has...
Expert Predicts Satan Will Visit Oregon When Marijuana Becomes Legal In July
Lock up your animals, and board up your windows Oregon, we have some incredibly disturbing news from War On Drugs expert Linda Blair. Recently, Blair spoke with ThatOregonLife.com and gave some startling insight on the legalization of the pot in Oregon. According to...
New Club “Baby Bumpers” Features Pregnant Dancers, Opening In Oregon
Springfield, OR - Residents were shocked today to find out about a very unique kind of strip club opening in their neighborhood. The new club, which will be known as Baby Bumpers, is like any other strip club with one exception --all dancers are required to be at...