That Oregon Life · Stories & discoveries
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Several Portland fitness centers announced this week they will be eliminating traditional heavy weights from their gyms entirely after city officials and wellness consultants agreed the weight room environment has long promoted levels…
PORTLAND, OR — Doctors across Portland say they are closely studying a surprising new trend after hospitals reported a 38% increase in babies being born both genderless and with naturally occurring blue hair, a phenomenon physicians…
WASHINGTON—Sen. Ron Wyden appeared visibly distant during a routine budget hearing Tuesday, staring solemnly into space as if mentally revisiting the harrowing weeks in 1848 when dysentery nearly claimed his life somewhere along the Oregon Trail…
PORTLAND, OR — In a stunning triumph for modern public policy, local gang member Rico “Lil Torque” Martinez announced Sunday night that he has canceled a planned armed robbery after discovering that new gun control laws…
In what experts are calling “either the boldest social experiment of the decade or a cry for help,” a Portland woman reportedly left her bicycle completely unlocked for a full 17 seconds on a busy, tree-lined…
PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling a deeply troubling development, a 34 year old Portland resident has been placed on a community watchlist after failing to attend, organize, or aggressively livestream a single protest…
EUGENE, Ore. — What began as a quick Saturday morning run for paper towels and a rotisserie chicken has reportedly turned into a full coming-of-age saga for local father Brent Halvorsen, who aged approximately 14 years…
SALEM, OR — Declaring it “a proud milestone in collectible governance,” a Portland-based toy startup announced Tuesday the release of limited-edition Tina Kotek Action Figures to celebrate what promotional materials describe as her status as America’s…
CORVALLIS, OR — In a groundbreaking study that absolutely no one asked for, researchers confirmed Tuesday that the average Oregonian owns approximately 47 reusable grocery bags, yet continues to stand at checkout saying, “Oh… I forgot…
CORVALLIS, OR — In what housing experts are calling “a troubling but financially sound decision,” a 20-year-old college student has reportedly moved into a construction-site porta-potty near campus after calculating that it was still significantly cheaper…
PORTLAND, OR — After years of observation, analysis, and quietly judgmental note-taking, researchers have formally admitted they still do not understand why Portland residents look the way they do. The announcement came Tuesday from a multidisciplinary…
There are Oregon towns you pass through.There are Oregon towns you stay in for a bit.And then there are Oregon towns that quietly enroll you in something permanent. Nobody ever announces they’re staying forever. They say…
