CORVALLIS, OR — In a bold step toward what city leaders are calling “radical inclusion,” Corvallis has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for gender-diverse individuals — and with it, implemented a new entry requirement: visitors must now present at least...
News
Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.
Local Dad’s Confidence Skyrockets After Snagging $24.99 Camo Shorts at Target
ESTACADA, OR — In a stunning transformation just in time for warmer weather, local dad Mike Reynolds reportedly achieved peak seasonal confidence Thursday afternoon after purchasing a pair of $24.99 camo cargo shorts from the Target clearance rack. Witnesses say...
Oregon High Schools Lower Graduation Bar to Just Reciting the Alphabet
“Academic equity achieved, one letter at a time,” says Governor Kotek SALEM, OR — In a bold move to address persistent educational challenges, Oregon's education officials have announced a new graduation requirement: high school seniors must now recite the alphabet to...
Hood River County Sees 3 Cases of Deadly Brain Disease with No Known Link
A rare and deadly brain disease with a 100% fatality rate has now struck three people in Hood River County, Oregon — a statistical anomaly that has local health officials scrambling for answers. As reported by Live Science, one case of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD)...
Pope Urges Stoners for Christ to Blaze Responsibly This Easter Sunday
VATICAN CITY — As Easter Sunday and 4/20 prepare to overlap in a once-in-a-generation holy smokes collision, Pope Francis issued a pastoral message Friday urging members of Stoners for Christ to “celebrate the resurrection with joy, gratitude, and at least a basic...
Oregon Voted #1 Place To Live In A Van Down By The River
SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking new report released Thursday, Oregon has officially been named the number one state in America for living in a faded, slightly moldy, sky-blue van down by the river — narrowly beating out Washington thanks to its looser parking rules...
Visitors Confirm: Enchanted Forest Hits Way Harder on Shrooms Than as a Kid
TURNER, OR — Longtime fans of Oregon’s beloved Enchanted Forest theme park are reporting that while the park was “kinda spooky and magical” as children, experiencing it as an adult on mushrooms is an entirely different — and far more intense — journey. “It used to be...
Oregonians Gently Reminded It’s Been Too Damn Long Since They Watched Stand By Me
PORTLAND, OR — In a quiet yet deeply emotional statewide advisory issued Monday morning, Oregonians were lovingly reminded that it has, in fact, been way too damn long since they last watched Stand By Me—the 1986 cinematic treasure filmed right here in the Beaver...
He Brought Her Head to the Store: Oregon’s Unimaginable Mother’s Day Murder
On Mother’s Day 2017, the small Oregon town of Estacada was shattered by a crime so gruesome it seemed ripped from a horror film. Inside the Harvest Market Thriftway, shoppers and employees were left frozen in disbelief as a blood-soaked man walked through the front...
Bend’s High Desert Museum Set to Open Giant Pine Tree Playground This Weekend
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a tiny critter crawling through the forest floor—or just have kids who love to climb, explore, and imagine—then you’ll want to make plans to visit the High Desert Museum in Bend this spring. Starting Saturday, April 19, the museum is...
Local Hikers Cheer as Hero Delivers Flying Kick to Yet Another One of Those Annoying Rock Stacks
CASCADE RANGE, OR — A sense of awe swept through the hiking community this weekend as yet another rock stack met its dramatic end—this time at the foot (literally) of a mysterious figure some are beginning to call The Cairn Slayer. Witnesses say the man appeared out...
Research Finds Finest Coffee Poured by Baristas With Nose Ring, 12 Pronouns, and Zero Eye Contact
BEND, ORE— A newly published study from the Oregon Culinary Arts & Beverage Institute has revealed that the highest-rated coffee in the state is consistently brewed by baristas who share three key characteristics: a prominent nose ring, at least 12 self-identified...