News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

National Guard to Roll Into Portland Next Week, Locals Argue Over Who Gets to Tag Armored Vehicles First

PORTLAND, OR — With 166 Oregon National Guard members preparing to deploy to Portland next week, locals have already begun squabbling over who will earn the honor of being the first to spray-paint “ACAB” on the side of an armored vehicle. The dispute reportedly broke out at a neighborhood co-op...

City of Portland Absolutely Obliterated as Urban War Escalates

It’s been a long time coming. After years of jokes about endless protests, artisanal chaos, and bridges that seem to exist just to get spray-painted, Portland has finally fulfilled every wild exaggeration by spontaneously detonating into a massive fireball. The city is now a smoking crater that...

Portland Leaders Float Plan To Convert ICE Building Into Airbnb With ‘Luxury Detention Suites’

PORTLAND, OR — City officials are floating a bold new proposal to convert Portland’s controversial Immigration and Customs Enforcement building into an Airbnb, touting it as a potential goldmine of “luxury detention suites” and ironic tourist appeal. Under the plan, the original barbed wire would...

Trump Sends Troops to Portland, Still No Word If Epstein Files Are Hidden in ICE Basement

PORTLAND, Ore. — In what officials are calling “Operation Basement Sweep,” President Trump doubled down on his commitment to locate the alleged Epstein files, personally insisting they are buried somewhere beneath Portland’s ICE facility. The same president who just months ago dismissed the...

Trump Announces Plan to Send Troops to Portland, Promises ‘Full Force if Necessary’

President Donald Trump said Saturday he has ordered Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to deploy U.S. military forces to Portland, declaring on Truth Social that he was prepared to authorize the use of “full force” against unrest in the city. Trump wrote that the move came at the request of Homeland...
X