News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Officials Urge Rioters to Stretch Before Peacefully Yeeting Bricks for Injury Prevention

PORTLAND, OR — In anticipation of this weekend’s peaceful protest that definitely won’t involve any windows mysteriously shattering themselves, city health officials have released a helpful reminder to all would-be demonstrators: “Don’t forget to stretch before yeeting.” “Too many young activists...

Local Woman Sips Warm White Claw, Finds Peace After Watching Flip-Flop Drift Off Into the Current

OREGON — It was supposed to be just another day of lazy tubing, questionable sunscreen application, and aggressively warm seltzers. But for one local woman, the universe had something deeper in store — a reckoning of the soul, delivered via footwear. Kayla Dunham, 31, was spotted laid out...

Dutch Bros Moves Out of Oregon, Says It’s Part of Growth Strategy

GRANTS PASS, Ore. — One of Oregon’s most iconic brands is making a big move—but says it’s not turning its back on the Beaver State. Dutch Bros, the wildly popular coffee chain that got its start as a humble pushcart in Grants Pass in 1992, announced this week that it’s officially relocating its...

Migrants Flee After Federal Agents Project AI Trump Riding Eagle at Border

NOGALES, AZ — Migrants attempting to cross the U.S.-Mexico border fled in confusion and terror this week after federal agents deployed a towering AI-generated hologram of former President Donald Trump riding a bald eagle, sources confirmed. Witnesses say the projection—roughly 50 feet tall and...

Newsom Freshly Gelled Up, Assures Californians Everything’s Under Control

LOS ANGELES, CA — Gleaming like a freshly waxed Tesla and strutting with the confidence of a man who just cured drought with cucumber water, California Governor Gavin Newsom made headlines Monday after addressing statewide unrest from the steamy comfort of a rooftop hot tub. Sporting a luxurious...
Fire Erupts at Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood

Fire Erupts at Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood

GOVERNMENT CAMP, Ore. — A fire was reported at Timberline Lodge in Government Camp on Thursday night at approximately 9:26 p.m. Flames were visible from the corner of the building via a live external camera feed. Responders from the Hoodland Fire District are at the...

Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

In a recent development, the Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) has announced the temporary closure of all southbound lanes on Interstate 5 at the juncture with Eugene-Springfield Highway I-105. The cause? A group of pedestrians engaging in a protest along the...

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