News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Fast Food Worker Accidentally Gives Customer Every Sauce He Requested

A local man is struggling to comprehend reality after an unthinkable event at a fast food drive-thru last night. Jacob Thompson, 34, ordered a simple meal at a nearby McDonalds, fully expecting to engage in the traditional battle of wills over condiments. But when he opened his bag, he was met...

Springfield to Get Two More Car Washes, Leaving Local Residents Absolutely Speechless with Joy

SPRINGFIELD, OREGON—Local residents can finally breathe a sigh of relief as city officials have approved the construction of two brand-new car washes, bringing the city’s already impressive total to way too many. With this latest addition, locals will have even more opportunities to spend a small...

Oregon to Replace Stop Signs with ‘Gentle Suggestions’ to Avoid ‘Harmful Command Language’

‘Telling Cars When to Stop Is a Form of Road Privilege’ Oregon has officially banned stop signs in an effort to create a more inclusive and emotionally safe driving experience. According to the state’s Department of Transportation, the word “STOP” is simply too aggressive and could be perceived as...

Trump Suggests Adding His Face to Mount Rushmore, Proposes ‘Executive Order’ to Expedite

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has reportedly suggested—and seemingly succeeded in—adding his face to Mount Rushmore, citing his "tremendous" accomplishments, "record-breaking presidency," and "undeniably perfect jawline." According to sources close to the...

Local Woman Proudly Shows Off ‘Check Engine’ Light That Has Been On Since 2018

Local woman Jessica Reynolds is beaming with pride after successfully keeping her car’s “Check Engine” light on for an impressive six years, setting what experts are calling a “remarkable new record in automotive neglect.” “I don’t even see it anymore,” Reynolds said, sipping a venti caramel...
Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

Protesters Shut Down Southbound I-5, One Lane Has Reopened

In a recent development, the Oregon Department of Transportation (ODOT) has announced the temporary closure of all southbound lanes on Interstate 5 at the juncture with Eugene-Springfield Highway I-105. The cause? A group of pedestrians engaging in a protest along the...

Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

Human Heart Shaped Rock Unearthed on Oregon Coast Sparks Wonder

In a unique discovery reported by KOIN news, a family from the greater Portland area found a 2-pound rock resembling a human heart in shape, color, and size on the Oregon Coast. The Ransom family discovered this rock at Short Beach near Oceanside on March 29, while...

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

Everything You Need to Know About Tomorrow’s Eclipse in Oregon

In the mystical realm of the Pacific Northwest, an astronomical ballet is set to unfold under the vast, ever-shifting tapestry of the sky this Monday morning. Unlike the celestial spectacle of 2017, where the sun and moon danced in perfect harmony across the Oregon...

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