News

Welcome to our Oregon News category, where we bring you the latest and most relevant news stories from the beautiful state of Oregon. From the stunning Pacific coastline to the rugged Cascade Mountains, Oregon is home to a wealth of natural beauty, diverse communities, and exciting cultural events.

Spirit Halloween Announces Bold Plan to Occupy Every Downtown Portland Storefront by Fall

PORTLAND, OR — In what company executives are calling their “most ambitious expansion yet,” Spirit Halloween announced Tuesday that it will seize the opportunity presented by Portland’s vacant downtown to convert every empty storefront into a seasonal costume superstore by October. “Frankly, it...

GoFundMe Launched for Prineville Man Blinded in Brutal Attack by Mentally Ill Neighbor Claiming to Be a Jedi

PRINEVILLE, Ore. — A Prineville family is asking the public for help after a horrifying, unprovoked home invasion left 53-year-old Steve Wilson with devastating injuries, including shattered facial bones and partial vision loss. The suspect, a neighbor with a reported history of mental illness,...

Report: Another Guy Gets “Unique” Forest Tattoo on Forearm

PORTLAND, OR — In a development surprising no one, another guy in the Pacific Northwest has reportedly gotten a tattoo of a forest on his forearm. Witnesses say the man, identified only as “Kyle,” emerged from a local tattoo studio Tuesday afternoon sporting a tasteful arrangement of silhouetted...

Jerry Garcia Back From the Dead, Oregon Country Fairgoers Blame the Edibles After Surprise Ghost Set

VENETA, Ore. — In a move that can only be described as “Grateful, Undead and Totally Unexpected,” the spirit of Jerry Garcia reportedly materialized onstage Friday evening at the Oregon Country Fair, triggering mass confusion that was blamed entirely on rampant edible consumption. Festivalgoers...

Tina Kotek Announces $500 Fine for “Unauthorized Splashing” on Oregon Rivers

SALEM, OR — In a bold new effort to “restore order and tranquility” to Oregon’s waterways, Governor Tina Kotek unveiled legislation this week that would impose a $500 fine for any “unauthorized splashing” on rivers across the state. “Too many Oregonians think they can just hop on an inner tube and...
Oregon Bans Conservatives

Oregon Bans Conservatives

SALEM, OR — In a move hailed by absolutely no one outside the Portland metro area, Oregon lawmakers have officially banned conservatives from residing in the state, citing “vibe mismatch” and “continued misuse of the word ‘woke.’” The emergency legislation, passed...

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